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Billy Masters
by Billy Masters
2014-09-09

This article shared 3868 times since Tue Sep 9, 2014
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"If everybody likes you—you're pretty dull."—Bette Davis' quote might as well have been directed at Joan Rivers ... or me. Neither one of us has ever been called dull.

I first saw Joan Rivers on The Tonight Show and immediately fell under her spell. I followed her every move religiously, sent her fan letters, and even jokes. She always graciously responded and sometimes even called from the road. Later, we got much closer. She opened doors for me, gave me endless opportunities, and inspired me more than almost anybody in my life. Over the years, I've known many celebrities, but only a small handful have a way of making their fans feel special. Joan was that kind of person. She used to say, "I always have time for my fans—they're the ones who made me a star."

This was a great year for Auntie Joan. She had another book on the New York Times Bestsellers List, returned to The Tonight Show after 30 years and had two hit television shows, with at least two others in development. To top it off, during her last hours on this Earth, she was onstage making people laugh. To me, Joan Rivers was like Mount Rushmore—something iconic and majestic that would withstand the test of time...and whose face would never move. She was an original, she lived by her own rules, and she was vital to the end. We should all be so lucky. We may have sorrow for her family and for ourselves. But Joan lives on forever in our hearts and souls. There's nothing to mourn here—only something to celebrate.

This week, I celebrated a milestone. I have been writing this column for 19 years. Yes, I know I barely look a day over 90, but that's not the point. The point is, if someone told me that I'd be writing this very column week in and week out for close to two decades, I'd have not believed it. But then again, nothing in my life has gone as planned. In fact, one of my earliest aspirations has yet to be fulfilled. I've never told you this, but when I was 14 years old, I ran away from home. I boarded a plane and flew to Orlando, Florida, to pursue a career at Disney World as one of the Seven Dwarfs. I wasn't picky as to which dwarf—at 14, its unlikely anyone would have given me a job. Had I not gone home, I probably would have ended up penniless, on the street, a prostitute, a junkie or worse. And yet, none of those unsavory possibilities could have prepared me for my current vocation. Ah, the road less traveled...

With the new television season starting this week, we will finally get to see the new and improved "View." There are a new set, logo and cast for The View. Officially joining the table are Rosie Perez and Nicolle Wallace. Two Rosies on one show? That's the least of their worries. And, as it turns out, Miss Perez will be awfully busy. She's just been cast in Larry David's new play Fish in the Dark, which begins previews on Broadway Feb. 2, 2015.

Just as Bryan Singer's legal woes ended on one front, they began on another. It's been a rocky few months since Michael Egan filed his sexual abuse suit against the filmmaker. Although Singer never wavered in assertions of his innocence, Egan's story grew more and more nebulous with implausibilities rising. He was dropped by his lawyer around the time that Singer filed his own malicious prosecution lawsuit ( Egan had to be served while hiding in the bathroom stall of a small Las Vegas casino ). Egan's case was ultimately dismissed when he couldn't find another lawyer to represent him, and Singer was able to sigh in relief.

But that respite was short-lived. Singer is allegedly being investigated by the NYPD. According to a police spokesperson, a male in his 20s who was visiting NYC from Virginia allegedly met Bryan at XL nightclub, was plied with alcohol, and taken back to the auter's hotel room where he was "forcibly sexually assaulted." The Special Victims Unit is investigating the case.

Death doesn't protect you from legal woes. In Los Angeles, a 36-year-old man is suing the estate of Michael Jackson for sexual abuse. The accuser appeared with Jackson in his famous Pepsi commercial. James Safechuck claims that he was abused by Jackson more than 100 times during a four-year period. Call me crazy, but after the first dozen or so times, wouldn't you just stay away? No, because the boy claims Jackson brainwashed him into thinking these were "acts of love." Oh, and did I mention that Safechuck was only 10 years old when the alleged abuse started? Reportedly, the sexual part of their relationship ended when Safechuck reached puberty, proving that even Michael Jackson had standards.

A contestant on VH1's Dating Naked is suing the network for showing non-blurred footage of her crotch. Frankly, if you're on a show called Dating Naked, you shouldn't have a problem with nudity.

Hot on the heels of Buyer & Cellar, writer Jonathan Tolins is working on a film about the life of comedienne Phyllis Diller. It might be time for me to revive my play Hollywood Uncovered, about my time with Joan Rivers.

Let's slip in a quick "Ask Billy" question. Henry in Tulsa writes: "What is going on with the Magic Mike sequel? Is it really going to happen?"

Not only is it happening, it's actually started shooting. Star of the original flick Joe Manganiello shared a photo from the first day on the set of Magic Mike XXL that we'll post on BillyMasters.com . Why he's being shot by the second unit is a mystery to me.

When Michael Jackson was practicing Safechuck instead of safe sex, it's definitely time to end yet another column. By the time you read this, I'll be off on another adventure in an undisclosed country—hopefully not one that looks askance at journalists ( as if I consider myself one ). No matter where I am, you can get the best dish at www.BillyMasters.com—the site that's very international. If you have a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Bryan Singer turns up on a special episode of Law & Order: SVU. Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.


This article shared 3868 times since Tue Sep 9, 2014
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