"Betty White's a doll—as long as you're not on the same show as her!"—Carol Channing.
I just spent a magical weekend in Provincetown, Massachusetts, that certainly didn't start out so promising. Just before I arrived, I got a call from the hunky proprietor of the Crown & Anchor, Rick Murray, informing me that Liza Minnelli had cancelled her appearance in a joint concert with Alan Cumming due to a back injury. However, Alan would soldier on and do a solo concert, with a portion of his fee going to the Trevor Project. This created a logistical nightmare for the box-office staff. They had to contact everyone who bought tickets for these shows, refund the difference in ticket price ( since Alan alone would be cheaper ), refund money to people who wanted to cancel and then resell the newly available tickets. It's a credit to Rick and his staff that both of Cumming's shows were SOLD OUT. In fact, they were standing room only—I should know, since I started the show standing ( although, as long as Rick has a lap, I know I'll always have a seat ).
Although many of the people in attendance hadn't seen Cumming live before, he won them over within minutes of hitting the stage with a subversive rendition of "Mein Herr." Cumming is not simply a singer—he's an actor who sings. Each song is approached as a mini-acting scene, which makes him connect with his audience as if they were watching a play. Rarely have I seen an audience so rapt in attention. You could hear a pin drop ( and kudos to the Crown for one of the best sound systems I've heard in eons ). Given the audience demographic, it definitely didn't hurt that Cumming's penis was hanging to the right and clearly visible in his leather pants. I don't believe anyone left that evening feeling short-changed.
The next night, I was off to the P-town Art House for the incomparable Marilyn Maye—more than ably assisted by the dashing Billy Stritch ( along with my new best friends, Daniel Glass and Steve Doyle ). Full disclosure—Marilyn is like family to me. She's a dear, sweet, incredibly talented lady who continues to astonish me with a voice as big as her heart—and that's pretty damn big. Celebrating her fourth consecutive year performing in P-town, Marilyn pulled out all the stops and magically transported the audience to a different time—a time when singers knew how to make a song their own and make an audience feel honored to be in their presence. And what a swell audience Maye attracts. On opening night, there was Bob Mackie ( who made Marilyn's ensemble ). Closing night, Billie Jean King. And in between, Carol Channing and Tommy Tune. You can find pics of everyone on BillyMasters.com . Needless to say, if you ever get the chance to see Marilyn Maye, go—she's one of a kind.
Channing and Tune were in Provincetown to appear at Town Hall ( presented by the Crown & Anchor ). In light of Liza's cancellation, some wondered if the 93-year-old Channing would actually appear. They needn't have worried—if Carol Channing was breathing, she'd be there. The way Tommy had devised the show, he'd welcome the capacity crowd, warm us up, set the stage and then bring on Carol to answer questions about her storied career.
Two other moments stand out. First, you will find very few people who will say anything against the beloved Betty White ( even Bea Arthur never publicly spoke against her—although Betty confirmed their issues after Bea's death ). Channing talked about doing a show with Betty which also featured Max the baboon. Apparently, Carol was told to sit in the cage with Max for a while so that he could get used to her scent. This went OK initially, but once Max got agitated, Carol dashed out, was chased by Max and ended up panting in the production room with the cast. Betty White looked at Carol and laconically said, "Oh, Carol, we all had to get used to you at first!"
The highlight of the show was when Tommy asked Carol to recite the famous "Ephraim" speech from Hello, Dolly—where she talks about wanting to rejoin the human race. She fumbled a bit with the opening and said, "Let me start over." Carol went back to the beginning and did the entire speech flawlessly with enormous warmth and conviction, and then immediately launched into the first verse of "Before the Parade Passes By." There wasn't a dry eye in the house. I'll run some photos from this incredible night on BillyMasters.com .
Speaking of the Great White Way, my buddy Sherri Shepherd will be making her Broadway debut in Cinderella. She joins the cast playing the evil stepmother, Madame, on Sept. 9.
By the time you read this, Sherri and Jenny will have left The View, and the show will be on summer hiatus. And yet, it's still making news each and every day. As I already reported, executive producer Bill Geddie is out. Taking his place will be Bill Wolff, executive producer of The Rachel Maddow Show. As to who will fill the vacant co-host seats, we are told that ABC did tests with nine ladies alongside Whoopi Goldberg and Rosie O'Donnell. They are ( in alphabetical order ) S.E. Cupp, October Gonzalez, Jemele Hill, Sunny Hostin, Kayleigh McEnany, Ana Navarro, Stephanie Ruhle, Lauren Sanchez, Sage Steele and Nicolle Wallace. All of the women have previously guest-hosted. Sanchez has the distinction of having been considered for the gig before the show hired Lisa Ling in 1999. Allegedly, Meghan McCain was invited to test, but declined.
When everyone but Rachel Campos is being tested for The View, we've definitely come to the end of yet another column. Phew—that was a lot of work for me ... especially for the summer. But I've gotta keep things fresh on www.BillyMasters.com—the site that never sleeps. We didn't have room to answer a question publicly, but I'm always available for your queries. Just send 'em along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before the parade passes by! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
