"Jesse [Tyler Ferguson] and I call Cam a 'bossy, fussy bottom."—Eric Stonestreet gives the Huffington Post a bit of insight into his Modern Family character. Frankly, I think a better name for the sitcom might be Who's the Top.
Why on Earth should I care who Andi chose on The Bachelorette? Ostensibly, it's part of my job to watch it. To be sure, many of you have asked me about the rather nebulous sexuality of various Bachelorette contestants. But that doesn't explain why I felt such unmitigated joy when Nick, the runner-up, asked Andi on live TV, "If you weren't in love with me, I'm just not sure why you made love with me?" I don't know about the rest of you, but I was virtually orgasmic. It was like the heavens opened up and the angels were singing. Now, certainly we have all suspected that the various contestants are having sex in the Fantasy Suites, or the hot tubs, or any number of darkened doorways in eastern European cities. But to have someone bring it up on live TV? Bliss. But please understand, I have no love for Nick. Really, I don't. Still, knowing that he tried on two separate occasions to speak with Andi in private and she declined made me feel less than sad at her having to hear about this on live TV. On the other hand, her decision may speak volumes ( or, at the very least, pages ) about the quality of this lovemaking.
Jason Biggs ( the boy who came into our collective consciousness fucking fruit pies ) feels that at least half of the contestants on The Bachelorette are gay. When asked how many of her suitors were perhaps in the closet, Andi answered with an emphatic "zero." ( Sigh—they're always the last to know. ) There's usually at least one cast member from the potential suits who receive the bulk of gay rumors. I believed this season's sure thing was JJ O'Brien, a self-proclaimed "pantsapreneur"—he designs eye-catching pants. He's also movie-star handsome, with a strong, chiseled face and fitness-model body. But inside, he's still a nerd. So he gets my vote ( and the pink pants didn't hurt ).
The cast member the rest of the world was focused on was Tasos Hernandez. He's 30, lives in Denver, is a Spanish teacher, a DJ and a wedding coordinator. He's also in a band where he often plays the guitar in his undies. And, oh yes, In Touch magazine found some photos of Hernandez licking some guy's nipples. In their blurb, they quote a close, unidentified friend, saying, "I've only known Tasos to date guys." The boys didn't take this lying down. JJ tweeted, "I can't believe you cheated on me like this." Tasos wrote, "Sorry, Didn't mean to offend. Really love In Touch's accurate & verifiable information. Quality magazine I tell ya. #sarcasm"
Of course, Big Brother has its share of same-sex romances. Or do they? Many people are cavalierly branding Zach and Frankie's liaison as a "showmance"—just something to keep the viewers talking. I mean, how seriously am I supposed to take professions of love from a bleached blond member of the Grande family? Then there's Cody Calafiore, who looks so familiar to so many people.
Uh, that's because the 23-year-old former soccer player has shown off virtually every inch of his body in various C-IN2 underwear ads. The campaign was called "Get a Firm Grip." Ringing any bells? If I recall correctly, he's sporting one of those briefs that lifts and separates the penile area. In another shot, he's wearing a contraption which emphasizes his other assets. Is it coming back to you now? Well, check out Cody at BillyMasters.com .
You know that lawsuit against Bryan Singer and others about sexually abusing male youths in the '90s? Well, it looks like that entire situation might be going away—or at least it's going on a bit of a hiatus, as we say in the biz. In the weeks since Michael Egan brought his allegations against the director and several other Hollywood hotshots, his recollections have proven to be far less reliable than initially thought. In the midst of his mounting credibility issue, Singer's lawyers swooped in and made an offer to settle the matter out of court without the admission of any guilt in exchange for $100,000. It would appear that Egan's lawyers favored such an arrangement, and Singer's people drew up the agreement. Singer even signed it. But when push came to shove, Egan nixed it, saying, "This exact kind of take-it-and-shut-up deal is why I decided to stand up in the first place. Being silenced goes completely against what I believe in and offers no protection for other vulnerable children." Ah, there it is—he's not holding out for more money—he's doing this for the children! While these platitudes might sound convincing, apparently his lawyers feel differently, saying, "We are in the process of withdrawing from representing Mr. Egan in all his cases and have no further comment concerning his matters at this time." And that, dear readers, says it all.
Lots of news has been wafting out of Comic-Con this year. Most of it has been focused on Arrow and The Flash. The upcoming Flash reboot pilot was screened for the sold-out audience. Because I'm in the know, I already had my copy, and I particularly liked the sensitive and yet powerful scenes between the new Flash, Grant Gustin, and classic Flash, John Wesley Shipp. I'll post this clip on BillyMasters.com for your perusal.
It's been announced that the lovely Robbie Amell will be recurring on The Flash as Firestorm ( first appearing in the third episode ). Meanwhile, over on Arrow, Brandon Routh has joined the cast as The Atom. It's perhaps a comedown from playing Superman, but at least he's got a job.
Our brief "Ask Billy" question is about the more famous Amell—the one who plays the eponymous Arrow. Keith in Seattle writes: "I heard Stephen Amell stripped at Comic-Con. Is that true?"
I think "strip" is overstating the situation. I mean, there wasn't music, dollar bills, or bumping and/or grinding. There was, however, encouragement from the audience ( and from his co-stars ) for Amell to show off his abs. And, he was happy to oblige. And, yes, you can also see that footage on BillyMasters.com .
When we're flashing the abs of two Amells, we've definitely come to the end of yet another column. That's just the tip of the iceberg of what you'll find at www.BillyMasters.com, the site that keeps it all in the family. If you've got an itch I can scratch, feel free to contact me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Tasos and JJ beat Andi and Josh to the altar. So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
