"I have the biggest crush on Jonathan Knight. Yes, I know he's gay and has a boyfriend. But I'm one of those women who waits for the man to not have a boyfriend!"—Kirstie Alley reveals her love for a certain New Kid on the Block. This isn't really all that shocking. It certainly wouldn't be the first time Alley's had a gay love interest—onscreen or off.
Do you know how old Mary Martin was when she starred in the original production of The Sound of Music? She was 47. When Florence Henderson led the first national tour, she was 26. Julie Andrews was 30 when she made the film—the same age Carrie Underwood is now. And yet, these were two very different 30-year-olds. One had oodles of acting experience on stage and screen and even had an Oscar. The other was in a made-for-TV movie about a shark biting off a surfer's arm and had six Grammy Awards.
For someone who had never done a musical ( let alone on live TV ), Carrie sang well—better than anyone had any right to expect. And her acting was as good as any other multiple Grammy-winning non-actress. But most people held her to a much higher caliber—one set by Miss Andrews, to say nothing of what should pass as acceptable on network television. My expectations were based on the rehearsal footage shown in the thoroughly entertaining "Making Of" special.
Carrie was delightful, endearing and at least somewhat warmer than the animatronic "Hall of Presidents" portrayal we all witnessed. In just about a week, she became the most aggressive Maria in history—as if Eva Braun were playing the part! All of the natural charm had been beaten out of her. And that's what was missing from the whole show—charm. Thank heavens for the glorious Audra McDonald, who was playing to the balcony. ( The fact that there was NO balcony is a minor quibble. ) Then there was the brilliantly nuanced performance of Laura Benanti as Elsa. ( She's also the youngest Maria in Broadway history, having appeared in the 1998 revival when she was 19. ) She conveyed more raw emotion in a four-second cutaway while Maria and the Captain were dancing than anyone else in the three-hour telecast. And when the dashing Michael Park stepped on her gown, she handled it with aplomb.
Of course, I know that's not the story you've been waiting for. If I know my readers ( and I know many of you intimately ), you want to know the coming out details of sexy UK diver, Tom Daley. In case you've been living under a rock, Daley went public last week about being in a relationship with another man ... ostensibly his first same-sex relationship. "Come spring this year, my life changed massively when I met someone and they made me feel so happy, so safe and everything just feels great—and that someone is a guy," said Daley in a videotaped statement that was, reportedly, co-scripted by the guy in question. Days later, he told TV presenter Jonathan Ross more. When Tom saw this guy across a room at a party, "I didn't know what to do or if he was gay at first." Has HE been living under a rock? Daley approached this much older man. How much older ( and get ready with your collective groans )? When he was Tom's age, Daley wasn't even born. But I am not going to preach. Please don't ask me to.
Days ago, I finally got to see Bette Midler playing legendary superagent Sue Mengers in I'll Eat You Last. Sue had strong-armed Babs into making Up All Night, directed by Mengers' husband, and the film bombed. Someone had to take the fall and it was Sue, who waits for Streisand's call. In the meantime, she shares great stories from the bygone days of Hollywood, which Midler delivered with panache. As Bette was taking her bows, I zipped out of my aisle seat to avoid the crowd. But one person was faster than me and was whisked out a side door. Perhaps he did not want to be seen. Perhaps he wanted to avoid people asking him what he thought. Perhaps he didn't want his mom to know he was there. But that person was Streisand's son, Jason Gould—looking lovely, by the by. Apparently he gave his mom a good report because, three days later, Babs went to see the play herself. In the words of Ms. Midler, "Okay! Barbra Streisand came to the show! And she liked it!! I was so thrilled. AND relieved!!"
It's time for Billy's Holiday Gift Giving Suggestions. Since we've spent much of this column talking about illicit love, I will once again express my undying affection for Sam Harris. Sure, I'm a sucker for his sweet singing, but he's also cute as a button ( although I'm not exactly sure how cute I find buttons ). He's just written his memoir, Ham: Slices of a Life.
Sam's unique storytelling voice comes through loud and clear in this collection of essays which give you a glimpse into his hilarious and chaotic life. His story about Liza's wedding to David Gest alone is worth the price of the entire book ( although the story about opening for Aretha and not getting paid is pretty fabulous, too ). Aside from the celebrity dish, there are also touching stories about his childhood, family, husband and son. If you love Sam as a singer, you'll love this book. And if you don't know a thing about him, you'll fall in love with him long before the final page. The book doesn't come out for another few weeks, but you can pre-order it on Amazon.com or check out Sam's website at SamHarris.com for more details.
I never endorse something just because it's gay—it also has to be good. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed Old Dogs & New Tricks. I thoroughly enjoyed the DVD of the first two seasons of this web series about gay men in West Hollywood nearing 50. In addition to being somewhat realistic, it's also well produced and well written. Best of all is the cast. In addition to the four leads ( one of whom has shared my bed ), there are also great guest stars like the incandescent Ian Buchanan, Thom Bierdz, Patrick Bristow and Greg Louganis ( speaking of gay divers ). You can grab it—along with many other gay-themed DVDs—at WolfeVideo.com .
When we can start and finish with old dogs looking for new tricks, it's definitely time to end yet another column. Once again, a super-sized column. There's not much more to say, except to direct you to www.BillyMasters.com, the site that never scrimps on size. If you've got a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before we get photographic evidence of what does Daley's body good. So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
