"This is the fashion Olympics. [The judges] make their decisions and someone is going home. And if this show were manipulated and rigged, Mondo Guerra would have won Season Eight—plain and simple."—Tim Gunn addresses accusations from contestants from last season's Project Runway.
Despite a good time slot, adequate publicity,and promising cast, Sean Saves the World has been disappointing, to say the least. It has moments that work ( any scene starring Linda Lavin ) and moments that don't ( any scene not starring Linda Lavin ). Reviews have been mixed and ratings have been mediocre, but Sean Hayes says he knows what the problem is—it's the network! Yes, in what can only be termed as a brazen move, Hayes told an interviewer that perhaps the show would be a better fit elsewhere: "To me, the show is working. It's just the struggle of the elephant in the room which is 'How do you get viewers to NBC?' NBC programs great shows, it just doesn't have the eyeballs CBS does." Other than that, he sees no problem with the program. "Even if I wasn't on the show, it'd be the funniest sitcom, to me, on the air right now. I watch it and go, 'Well, this is really fucking funny.' I wouldn't change anything right now. I think it's all working." Are we watching the same show? Ironically, days after he made these statements, NBC actually ordered four more episodes. Are THEY watching the same show?
Remakes are all over the television landscape. CBS has ordered a new version of Charmed—because apparently nobody with the network's eyeballs has seen Lifetime's new version of Charmed, called Witches of East End. This new Charmed would allegedly have no ties with the original show or its cast. So, why bother?
A sequel is in the planning stages for Remington Steele. This would revolve around the daughter of Remington ( Pierce Brosnan ) and Laura Holt ( Stephanie Zimbalist ) reopening her dad's detective agency. Unlike the original's one-hour format, this sequel would be a half-hour sitcom. Has anyone thought to bring back Doris Roberts?
After a series of delays, the Elton John biopic is going to happen—although production won't start for about a year. Until then, the singer is re-recording songs for the film and the script is being tweaked. The hold-up has been casting. Unfortunately, Elton isn't getting his first choice—Justin Timberlake passed on the project. The lead character in Rocketman will be played by Tom Hardy, who you know from Inception and saw naked in Bronson. What? You missed it? Check out BillyMasters.com .
Although he won't be competing in the Olympics, Johnny Weir is still heading to Sochi—he just signed on as an Olympic correspondent with NBC. However, Weir knows that he could be on thin ice. When asked if he'll be speaking out against the anti-gay legislation, he said, "I risk jail time just going there, but the Olympics are not the place to make a political statement. I'm not a politician and I don't really talk about politics. You don't have to agree with the politics, but you have to respect the culture of the country you are visiting."
Although Weir has announced that he's retired from competition, he still plans to skate as a professional. In fact, he'll be touring Russia with Olympic gold medallist Yevgeny Plushenko after the Sochi games. And he's unconcerned by criticism that performing in Russia is the wrong thing to do: "If it's good enough for Elton John, it's good enough for me."
This leads to two Olympic-related "Ask Billy" questions. The first comes from Art in Seattle: "I just received my copy of Brian Boitano's new cookbook, and while he proudly seems to display a wedding ring on his right hand ( i.e. gay wedding finger ), nowhere in the book does he seem to dedicate or thank a husband figure. Is the ring just symbolic or is dear Brian still hiding in the closet?"
Sorry, he hasn't come out of the closet—yet. But I think releasing this cookbook is a step in that direction. As I'm sure you know, he showed off his willingness to serve in a series for the Food Network in 2009 called "What Would Brian Boitano Make?" which was shot in his San Francisco home. This show launched two years after his cameo in "Blades of Glory" and after his special "Brian Boitano Skating Spectacular Starring Barry Manilow." Frankly, I really think any public statement at this point would be redundant.
Our next question comes from Ryan in Salt Lake City: "I heard there's an Olympian with a huge penis who has posted pics online. Do you know who he is?"
You need to be more specific—these days, I don't believe you even qualify for the Olympics without two nude selfies and a sex tape. But a bit of buzz surfaced last week about pole-vaulter Andrew Zollner. You may recall him causing a kerfuffle during the last Olympics because his sizeable pole could be seen through his Lycra shorts. For whatever reason ( perhaps pride ) he allegedly took some photos of his fantastic phallus unsheathed and aroused. I'd say he's certainly going for the gold—judging from the photos you can find on BillyMasters.com .
When a pole-vaulter is showing off his javelin, it's definitely time to end yet another column. It makes sense since Zollner has competed in the decathlon. Check him out on www.BillyMasters.com, the site that proves ten is his lucky number. If you'd like to get lucky, send your queries along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Boitano considers switching sports ... not teams. Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
