"This was a two-hander. And Matt, you're only as good as your other hand. So, I can't tell you ... the only reason I'm standing here is because of you. So, you really deserve half of this. So, you want the bottom or the top? The top? I figured that."—Michael Douglas thanks his Behind The Candelabra co-star Matt Damon when winning the Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actor Miniseries or Movie.
The weather in Los Angeles may not be an indicator, but fall is definitely here. I know this because: a) I am in Los Angeles and b) I just came home from the Emmys. And if it's the Emmys, it's fall—except for those unfortunate times when they've been held at the end of the summer. Those are the years I am forced to not only interrupt my summer vacation, but also engage in my least favorite pastime—sweating profusely in a tuxedo!
After the morose awards show that featured a death before every commercial, the HBO after-party was a joyful soirée. With an expanded event space bedazzled in a kaleidoscope of colors (courtesy of premiere party planner Billy Butchkavitz), revelers celebrated well into the night. I spent most of my time schmoozing with the cast of Veep—specifically the stunning Sufe Bradshaw. By the end of the night, I went from gabbing with Derek Hough to fellow Bostonian Matt Damon. That's when I knew it was time to go. Why press my luck?
For months, Johnny Weir has told anyone who would listen that he planned to compete in the upcoming Sochi Olympics. Aside from the personal reasons of not wanting to miss his last chance at an Olympic medal, he had an interesting argument. Who better than a flamboyant skater to challenge Russia's anti-gay legislation? Why should his efforts be thwarted by prejudice? Why not face his opponents and basically dare them to imprison him ... possibly dressed as a dying swan? It was an argument I could get behind—and surely I'm not the first man to get behind Johnny Weir. Of course, the popular activist stance is that one must boycott all things Russian or one is tacitly endorsing the prejudice. In the end, the conflict came to an anti-climatic conclusion when the U.S. Figure Skating organization announced that Weir did not register for the qualifying rounds of the national championships. And with that, I suspect his amateur career has come to an end.
Cher recently revealed that she turned down an invitation to appear at the Sochi Olympics. "I can't name names but my friend called who is a big oligarch over there, and asked me if I'd like to be an ambassador for the Olympics and open the show," she said. "I immediately said no. I want to know why all of this gay hate just exploded over there. He said the Russian people don't feel the way the government does."
A spokesperson from the Olympic committee immediately shot back, saying, "There have never been any negotiations with Cher about her possible participation in the ceremony." It was also noted that Cher did perform a very special private concert in Russia for billionaire Suleiman Kerimov in December. Although the anti-gay legislation wasn't passed until June, we hear she returned in July to perform in Dagestan for the opening of a new stadium, home to Keromov's soccer team.
The lines between reality television and the porn industry are being blurred more and more every day. One of the popular gay personalities to make such a transition is Steven Daigle, who previously appeared on Big Brother. He effortlessly made the transition to gay porn under the direction of Chi Chi LaRue with Steven Daigle XXXposed. Since then, he's not limited himself to gay porn—he also appeared in a heterosexual flick (stating it was his first heterosexual experience). His latest news is something I suspect he's far more familiar with—he's getting into the bareback porn business. And his debut is surely a title which flows trippingly off the tongue—regardless of the direction: Cum Whore. Well, that just about says it all, doesn't it?
So onto our big story. When one of the most gorgeous leading men from television, stage and film masturbates on camera, my ears do start burning. (Thankfully it's only my ears burning and not anything further south.) When I was first sent the video of Cheyenne Jackson allegedly masturbating to completion and bemoaning the absence of his boyfriend, I was forced to closely inspect it with an expert's eye. Even before I delved into this task, I firmly believed that it was a fake. Cheyenne is many things, but stupid is not one of them. I wouldn't expect him to do anything as reckless as filming himself jerking off—and he certainly wouldn't send it to someone. Alas, after thorough investigation, I do believe it's the real deal. Aside from a brief (unfortunate) glimpse of his face, a stray shot of the new tattoo on his arm confirms its veracity. My findings were reinforced when some websites were pressured to take the video down. But some websites ain't BillyMasters.com .
This leads nicely into our "Ask Billy" question. Roger on Cape Cod, Mass., writes: "You recently mentioned Reichen in your column. What is he up to these days? We haven't heard much from him."
Last year, Reichen Lehmkuhl announced his intention to attend law school. I'm happy to report that he was accepted by Loyola Law School and started his law studies this month. But fear not—he's not abandoning his career as an entertainer. Apparently, Logo produced a soap called The Vines of Sauvignon Blanc that launched this summer on Twitter's video app, Vine. The owner of the vineyard (played by Stephen Guarino) has only two minutes and six seconds to live, so he has to wrap up his affairs and finesse some feisty family and friends. Logo ordered 22 episodes, each lasting six seconds—yes, six seconds! Pulling out my trusty abacus, that adds up to 132 seconds of original programming by our gay network.
When Logo is redefining a "quickie," it's definitely time to end yet another column. Since we once again ran long, we only have a moment to remind you to check out www.BillyMasters.com, where it's never a quickie ... always a longie. Certainly all the penises in this week's column prove that. But I'm here for you, regardless of the topic. All you have to do is drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Cheyenne announces his next project ... with Steven Daigle! So, until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.
