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Billy Masters
2013-01-01

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"I never denied those rumors because I was offended and didn't want to offend my friends who were gay—as if being gay were some kind of fucking disease."—Matt Damon addresses why he never commented on the rumors that he and Ben Affleck were lovers.

As we leave 2012 behind, I'd like to share a bit of knowledge I picked up towards the end of last year. When someone asks you any question that begins with the words, "What do you think about...," they really don't want to know what you think. If they agree with you, they'll go on and on repeating exactly what you've said. And if they disagree, you'll be told you are wrong with hours of reasons why. So take a tip from Billy Masters—when asked "What do you think....", take a beat, look about thoughtfully, and then say, "Well, what do YOU think?" Once they tell you in detail what they think, you can simply say, "I agree." It will save you oodles of time.

Before we jump into the New Year, we should see how some of our favorite celebs spent the holiday season. Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka stayed up until 2 a.m. on Christmas Eve setting up an elaborate train set for son Gideon, and all he wanted to do on Christmas morning was play with a broom! Dustin Lance Black was invited to one of the many White House Christmas parties—coincidentally (or not), the same one that CNN's Don Lemon was at. (I believe one of them brought model Robby Rasmussen.) A friend sent me a photo of what I thought was Barbara Eden and her grandchildren; it was Kathy Griffin and her nieces and nephew. Oops.

In other cheery news, Glee creator Ryan Murphy and his hubby David Miller welcomed the birth of their son on Christmas Eve. Photos of the newborn Logan Phineas Miller Murphy in a Christmas stocking were sent out to family and friends. Congrats.

Of course, we also lost some noted individuals over the holidays. While the mainstream commemorated the lives of Jack Klugman and Charles Durning, we'd like to remember two others who didn't get quite the same amount of attention. Fontella Bass might be known as a one-hit wonder, but most singers would kill to be known for singing "Rescue Me." Gay-porn actor Josh Weston made a splash as a Falcon star at the turn of the century, but got closer to his real self in more recent videos. He was working on a memoir titled Sleeping My Way To The Bottom and was somewhat sanguine about his HIV status. When one interviewer asked where he saw himself in three years, Josh responded, "Good question ... do porn stars go to heaven?" I think they do.

After several delays, the Liberace biopic Behind the Candelabra was shot this summer. Directed by Stephen Soderbergh, the flick stars Michael Douglas as the popular pianist and Matt Damon as his secret lover, Scott Thorson. Although the movie doesn't hit HBO until this spring, Damon recently did an interview with Playboy discussing it: "Michael was a wonderful kisser. I had to come out of the pool, go over to him, straddle him on a chaise lounge and start kissing him. It's not like I kiss him just once. We drew it up like a football plan." Matt also promises that we'll see quite a bit of skin: "Normally I'd say no to nudity, but I just did a lot of it playing the long-term partner of Liberace. I mean, it's tastefully done. But this movie's not going to be for everyone."

Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Frank in New Jersey: "You're Orthodox, right? Did you hear about that calendar of hot nude Orthodox priests? Is it for real? Are they really priests?"

This is how rumors get started. I should know—I've started my fair share. It's not a calendar of hot nude Orthodox priests. Some of them are wearing their collars! That said, the 2013 Orthodox Calendar features what is referred to as "12 seductive artistic pictures of Orthodox priests and their guests." I'm quite partial to Mr. January—Father Vladimir from the Ukraine, who is photographed with his wife, Yulia, and his three sons who look like they walked out of a Bel Ami video (assuming they could get a work permit to shoot in the Czech Republic). May features brother priests, Jacob and Esua, who "have been together their entire lives and always take care of one another." I bet they do! I must immediately order this calendar from Orthodox-Calendar.com .

What's a new year without a new celebrity nude? I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it comes from Big Brother alum Will Wikle. It was an inevitability. Even while he was continuing work as an ER nurse, he built up an impressive physique and resume as a much-sought-after NYC go-go boy. In fact, we quoted him in our wrap up from 2011: "God blessed me with a bountiful butt."

And this year, he popped up in a video walking around Manhattan clad in the smallest pair of pink Timoteo undies I've ever seen to promote Daniel Nardicio's DWorld Underwear Party on Fire Island. A more explicit video was made for the party in Manhattan. Will was cast as a horny and lonely missionary whose neighbors in a sleazy motel include a dozen or so hot underwear models in the midst of a sex party. Of course, Will ends up the centerpiece—much like that old video of Kevin Williams on the Lazy Susan! What could he do to top that (so to speak)? Finally show all, which he did in some new nude shots with porn star Benjamin Godfre. Why? Who knows. Allegedly, Will is still in a long-distance relationship with former porn pup Mason Star, but as someone who has been in a few of those, I wouldn't read too much into it. Instead, just check out the pretty pics of his penis on BillyMasters.com .

When I can segue from hot priests to reality stars in the missionary position, it's definitely time to end yet another column. I think this might be the first time nude priests have been featured on www.BillyMasters.com—the site that is always interested in what you think. In fact, if there's something you'd like me to look into, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Kathy Griffin stars in a remake of I Dream Of Jeannie! Until next time, remember, one man's filth is another man's bible.


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