by TP Catalano $31.25; AMaverick Books; 502 pages
One test of a good book that focuses on the life of its main character is if, at the end, you feel sad about leaving behind someone you've grown to care for—and if you think the "novel" the author dubs his book to be is a memoir in disguise, and you wish you could meet the character in the flesh.
That is how I felt getting to know Terry Romano in No Strings. There are many parallels between the book's character ( Romano ) and its author ( Catalano ): the profession—both are psychotherapists—and their gender/identity/sexuality. Both are "transmasculine." Romano—although born female and never surgically altered—thought as, moved as and dressed as a man. Romano described himself as a butch guy.
This is a book about identity, overcoming abandonment, and finding one's place in the world. It switches back and forth between chronological detail about growing up and struggling with various situations, and therapy sessions where Romano talked through what it all meant with Jean, his therapist/friend.
Catalano details Romano's complicated attraction to women. Most straight women were aroused by his masculinity but repulsed by his bio-born gender and saw him as a dyke. "They didn't get it," Catalano writes. But some did, and they were the ones Romano pursued.
Things started to unravel when Romano's mother died. Her death surfaced the feelings of abandonment Romano had always experienced from his mother, as well as the loss when separated at a young age from his foster mother, Mother Crosman, who gave him enduring, unconditional love.
"I look at people," Romano tells Jean early on in the book, "and they always look to me like they belong. … I don't belong."
Although the writing is unnecessarily repetitious on certain details, Romano's life story and the insights about how psychotherapy sessions work pull you in deeper and deeper as the account of his life and relationships from childhood through adulthood unfolds. The recounting of camp life as a child, where Romano forged his first friendships with two campmates, Gerry and Zacky, is sweet. In fact, there is much here to touch your heart and get you to pondering your own life's path.
Catalano makes his book available directly rather than through traditional channels. He requests those who wish to buy a copy send a check made out to TP Catalano for the full amount of $31.25 ( includes book purchase, Connecticut state sales tax and shipping/handling ). Send to TP Catalano, P.O. Box 522, Westport, Connecticut, 06881. Be sure to include a snail-mail address.
