Chad T. Hendry remembers the moment like it was yesterday, one of those where-were-you-when lifetime moments.
It was Dec. 30, 2009, at 11:07 a.m. in Hollywood, Calif., at the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center.
Hendry was 30 at the time and admits now that he was well aware of what he might hear, though he held out hope, as slim as that may have been. He vividly recalls the exact words he heard: "You are negative for hepatitis C, but you have come back reactive for HIV."
His heart sank and, though he did not immediately cry, he wanted to. Fear swept over shame, along with guilt. He was numb from head to toe.
Hendry's journey to that fateful day actually started about a year earlier. He had a lot of stress and issues he was dealing with—people very close to him dying of cancer, a bad break up, job stress. So Hendry sought out a way to numb the stress and pain of life.
He tried crystal meth—and was immediately hooked.
The progression was swift and the consequences were immense, he said. "In one year's time, I lost my career, threw away school, lost my home, my car, my friends. I sacrificed everything for the drug and the lifestyle that came along with it."
Plus, he got wrapped up in a sexual addiction.
"Anyone who is familiar with this culture knows it's not conducive to a healthy lifestyle," Hendry said.
On Dec. 23, 2009, Hendry finally reached out for help from the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center. His counselor helped get him into the Van Ness Recovery Home in Hollywood.
After spending Christmas in the recovery home, he then learned he was HIV-positive.
"On Jan. 7, 2010, I left the recovery home and, in all honesty, I was ready to die. I wanted to die. I had lost all hope. I had lost everything material and now my health," Hendry said. "What brought me through that very dark time was my family. My mother convinced me to reach out to my family here in Naperville."
On Jan. 12, 2010, Hendry moved back to Naperville, Ill.
He's been clean since April 6, 2010.
"How has my life changed [since the diagnosis]? Well, beyond the obvious things, such as having to go to the doctor a few more times a year and taking a pill a day, my life hasn't changed that much. What has changed is my approach to life," Hendry said. "Today, I am grateful for every moment I have here on this earth. Every day I continue to grow and learn more about myself, and I fully believe had I never gone through addiction or contracted HIV, I never would have developed this gratitude for life. I also would have never realized what my purpose in life is … and that is, to help people.
"The biggest impact HIV has had on my life is [that] it has helped me find my passion. That passion is helping others. Giving away what was so freely given to me which was a chance at a new way of life. I wouldn't take back my actions in addiction or the fact that I have HIV. I am now uniquely qualified to approach life with empathy and compassion. I believe that it's a gift and I intend to give that gift away to others."
Hendry, now 31, and living at Alexian Brothers Bonaventure House in Lake View, is single and, for the first time in his life, not focused on dating. Instead, he's out to find fulfillment through relationships, he said. "I have been taking the time to get to know myself. I am sure when the right person comes along I will be open to dating though."
Hendry does volunteer work for several area agencies, including the Test Positive Aware Network (TPAN) and the Chicago House & Social Service Agency, where he works in HIV prevention, outreach and testing.
Hendry was born in Salt Lake City, Utah. His family moved to Naperville and Lisle for a few years in the early 1980s until his parents divorced, and then he moved back to Utah. At 21, he moved to Palm Springs, Calif., and he lived in Southern California for the next eight years.
Hendry ran the 110-meter hurdles in high school and has competed in numerous 5K races. In 2008, he trained for the inaugural Pasadena Marathon, but it was cancelled due to fires.
"When I first moved to Chicago I saw an advertisement for the Team To End AIDS (T2) endurance-training program, and I knew that I wanted to challenge myself and run with that team," Hendry said. "I wasn't able to run [for T2 in 2010] because of all the other things going on [in my life], but this year I am determined to do it. With the help of Alexian Brothers Bonaventure House, I was able to join T2.
"One of the reasons I wanted to run with T2 was to be able to raise money for the AIDS Foundation of Chicago. I call it putting my gratitude in motion. I want to give back to the many agencies that have helped me save my life and find a new way to live. I also knew that if I was going to be able to train for a marathon I needed the encouragement of teammates."
So Hendry is there along the lakefront, in his red T2 shirt, running mile after mile after mile on Saturday mornings.
His goal: the finish line in the annual Bank of America Chicago Marathon on Sunday, Oct. 9.
"I believe that running any marathon is an amazing challenge," Hendry said. "Never in my life did I ever think I would be running a 26.2-mile marathon. It takes a lot of physical and mental preparation, but I believe, when I cross that finish line, it will all have been worth it. Not only am I challenging myself, but I am also able to help others in the process. That in and of itself makes it all worthwhile.
"I believe we can all achieve anything that we want, and having HIV and being an addict in recovery shouldn't ever be something to hold me back. I believe that I can do anything and I approach my life each day with that in mind. So you ask why do it? I say, why not."
Hendry said joining T2 was a simple, logical choice, even with numerous other charity training programs in the city. It's the energy of T2 that has Hendry hooked. It's a force of souls coming together to push and challenge people to do something together that they may not have been able to do alone, he said. "Not only are we pushing ourselves physically, but we are raising money to make a difference in the lives of people who need it."
Hendry said fundraising is a challenge; it definitely takes him out of his comfort zone.
"I have never been very good at asking for money or support, but, it's worth the challenge. It's an opportunity to do what was done for me. Many of the programs I have been involved with get funding from AFC, so this is a way for me to give back."
In addition to marathon training, Hendry is in college, working on his undergraduate degree in social work at Harold Washington College.
"One of my goals is to do the best that I can every day, and realize that my best might change from day to day. That's perfectly OK. I try to approach each day with gratitude for being alive," Hendry said.
"Events such as the Ride For AIDS or T2 could mean the difference between someone having access to food and shelter, life-saving medications, a new way of life, and more. I believe, because of programs like these, underserved populations are able to have access to services that might not be available otherwise. I also believe that programs like these give the average a person a way to give back and help their community. For me, it's a way to give back directly to the organizations that have helped me save my life, such as Alexian Brothers Bonaventure House, the AIDS Foundation of Chicago, Test Positive Aware Network and Chicago House."
Hendry is truly a changed man since returning to Chicago—and a happy one.
"If you have just found out that you are HIV-positive, stop, take a deep breath and allow yourself to process it," Hendry said. "Realize that HIV is only a small part of you and it never needs to consume you. I believe that we can embrace our life for all the good and the bad, and we can achieve all of our dreams. Nobody is ever in this fight alone; reach out to your family and friends, and add new support through community-based AIDS organizations. You are never alone and we can fight this fight together.
"Having HIV doesn't have to be a death sentence [like it once was for so many people]. I do believe that you do have to make active, healthy life decisions going forward in order to live a healthy life mentally and physically. We have a chance that the pioneers of HIV didn't have, which is medical advancements and treatments.
"HIV/AIDS awareness is essential. I currently do HIV outreach and testing in the local bathhouses. I also wear the 'HIV Positive' T-shirt all of the time in public in an effort to facilitate a conversation with people, [and] ideally, to dispel stigmas and misconceptions about people living with HIV/AIDS. I also write a blog about my life in recovery from addiction and living with HIV, about my every day struggles or thoughts, and more. I believe by being honest about having HIV and my addiction that, hopefully, I might make it easier for someone else to reach out to his or her trusted support.
"HIV impacts my life in every way, every day. My purpose is to help others and I keep the fact that I have HIV at the forefront of my mind."
Anyone interested in supporting Hendry on his fundraising for T2 on behalf of AFC should visit afc.aidschicago.org/netcommunity/chadthendry.
