Windy City Media Group Frontpage News
Celebrating 30 Years of Gay Lesbian Bisexual and Trans News
home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2020-05-13
DOWNLOAD ISSUE
About WCMG Publications News  Entertainment Features Donate Bars & Clubs Calendar Advertisers OUT! Guide    Marriage

Sponsor
Sponsor

  IDENTITY

A Butch Interpretation on Femme Perspectives
by Vicky Nabors
2004-06-01

facebook twitter google +1 reddit email


Happy Pride to all of you, and Happy Birthday to 'me' and my fellow Geminis; now pull out your rainbow colors and get ready to party the month away.

Ever since I began writing issues related to butch/stud perspectives and our lifestyle, non-butch readers have suggested, non-stop might I add, that I present the femme side. Now, I don't have a problem doing that, but there's one tiny problem—'I ain't a femme, therefore, I can't think from a femme perspective!' So, I was pleased when CC Carter wrote, 'Femmes Stand Up and Be Counted,' in the April Identity. She addressed issues from her femme perspective and I figured that that was the end of it. Apparently not, because I'm still getting e-mail requests to do my thang. So, here's my 'Raymond' version, (from the show, Everybody Loves Raymond) of my butch interpretation on femme perspectives. My companion gave me this name, she says my behavior and thought process often mirrors his; I don't know if that's a compliment or insult. Anyway, here's six facts that I've come to understand from conversations with my bois, observations and conversations with femmes about femme perspectives. Now don't send hate mail ya'll! I got this ... I think.

First, Black femmes seem to outnumber Black butch/studs 5 to 1. Now that's a good thing for studs—bad for femmes. It definitely promotes a higher level of competition for butch/stud attention and companionship, that is, for those who seek a balance of male/female energy. Second, a large majority of femmes in femme/stud relationships initially chose their butch/stud partners because they loved the pampering, not because they were exclusively into butch/studs. Later, the butch mystique probably got under her skin, and she became addicted to her lover's cute butch energy. Not having to fight over the bathroom and mirrors was probably another perk, for her. Third, many femmes, like straight sistahs, seem to enjoy sharing, with each other, intimate details of their sexual encounters during 'gurl-talk.' 'I've often found that behavior strange, I don't quite understand why they'd do that.' Butch/studs don't participate in in-depth sharing—only topical information is shared, if anything. We don't want to encourage our bois to crave the feel-good of the wimyn we luv. Fourth, femmes fear rejection as much as butch/studs do, which means they'll often miss key opportunities to meet interesting butch/studs. Fifth, femmes don't like to share the attentions of a butch/stud with other femmes when socializing. Apparently, it's a form of competition they prefer to avoid. Lastly, not all femmes are interested in being nurturers, i.e., cooking, cleaning, taking care of their butch/stud lover etc. like in the good old days. Some New Age femmes are actually looking to be nurtured, in all ways, by her butch/stud; cause she can't cook!

I've done my best to interpret general Black femme perspectives from my butch view. Hopefully, I've hit on some truths, and possibly missed a few important points, but I'm sure you'll straighten me out. It's Pride ya'll ... Holla!

Vickyism@aol.com


facebook twitter google +1 reddit email





Windy City Media Group does not approve or necessarily agree with the views posted below.
Please do not post letters to the editor here. Please also be civil in your dialogue.
If you need to be mean, just know that the longer you stay on this page, the more you help us.


  ARTICLES YOU MIGHT LIKE

Gay News

Report: HHS rule will negatively affect 1.5M transgender Americans 2020-05-18 - The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) is expected to announce a final rule in the coming weeks that reverses federal ...


Gay News

Online seminar for families of transgender individuals May 3 2020-04-22 - Are you a family member of a transgender person? Do you want to be supportive but sometimes have a hard time understanding? ...


Gay News

Transgender adults with underlying health conditions at risk for COVID-19 2020-04-22 - An estimated 319,800 U.S. adults who identify as transgender have one or more medical conditions, including asthma, diabetes, heart disease, or HIV, according ...


Gay News

ELECTIONS 2020 Jill Rose Quinn heads toward being state's first openly transgender judge 2020-04-01 - Among those notching victories on March 14, during Illinois' primary, was Democratic judicial candidate Jill Rose Quinn. Her win was significant in ...


Gay News

Benjamin Scheuer releases "I Am Samantha" for International Transgender Visibility Day 2020-03-31 - Canvasback Records/Atlantic Records is proud to announce the release of "I Am Samantha" from singer-songwriter Benjamin Scheuer. The touching track recounts the real-life ...


Gay News

NCLR condemns Idaho law barring transgender girls from sports 2020-03-30 - BOISE, ID — The National Center for Lesbian Rights strongly condemns Idaho Governor Brad Little's decision to sign HB 500, a law that ...


Gay News

ELECTIONS 2020 JUDICIAL Transgender attorney Jill Rose Quinn on judicial race, making history 2020-02-25 - Since 1997, Jill Rose Quinn has had her own private law practice working on family and criminal law, LGBTQ issues, financial matters and ...


Gay News

Boston IVF announces Landmark Transgender Male Fertility Research Study 2020-01-07 - WALTHAM, Mass., Jan. 7, 2020 /PRNewswire/ — Boston IVF, a worldwide leader in fertility care and a pioneer in LGBTQ+ family building, today ...


Gay News

Advocates laud final Medicaid rule for gender-affirming surgery 2020-01-04 - Advocates across Illinois celebrated the final rule that regulates Medicaid coverage for gender-affirming surgery. The final rule prioritizes the patient-provider relationship, allowing ...


Gay News

Judge orders IDOC transgender healthcare overhaul 2019-12-23 - A federal judge ordered Dec. 19 that the Illinois Department of Corrections (IDOC) fix practices by which a "transgender committee"—composed of individuals with ...


 



Copyright © 2020 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.

 

 

 

TRENDINGBREAKINGPHOTOS

Sponsor
Sponsor
Sponsor


 



About WCMG Publications News  Entertainment Features Donate Bars & Clubs Calendar Advertisers OUT! Guide    Marriage


About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Subscriptions      Distribution      Windy City Queercast     
Queercast Archives      Advertising  Rates      Deadlines      Advanced Search     
Press  Releases      Event Photos      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Post an Event      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Blogs      Spotlight  Video     
Classifieds      Real Estate      Place a  Classified     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.