Windy City Media Group Frontpage News
Celebrating 30 Years of Gay Lesbian Bisexual and Trans News
home search facebook twitter join
Gay News Sponsor Windy City Times 2020-02-19
About WCMG Publications News Index  Entertainment Features Bars & Clubs Calendar Videos Advertisers OUT! Guide    Marriage



A Butch Interpretation on Femme Perspectives
by Vicky Nabors

facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

Happy Pride to all of you, and Happy Birthday to 'me' and my fellow Geminis; now pull out your rainbow colors and get ready to party the month away.

Ever since I began writing issues related to butch/stud perspectives and our lifestyle, non-butch readers have suggested, non-stop might I add, that I present the femme side. Now, I don't have a problem doing that, but there's one tiny problem—'I ain't a femme, therefore, I can't think from a femme perspective!' So, I was pleased when CC Carter wrote, 'Femmes Stand Up and Be Counted,' in the April Identity. She addressed issues from her femme perspective and I figured that that was the end of it. Apparently not, because I'm still getting e-mail requests to do my thang. So, here's my 'Raymond' version, (from the show, Everybody Loves Raymond) of my butch interpretation on femme perspectives. My companion gave me this name, she says my behavior and thought process often mirrors his; I don't know if that's a compliment or insult. Anyway, here's six facts that I've come to understand from conversations with my bois, observations and conversations with femmes about femme perspectives. Now don't send hate mail ya'll! I got this ... I think.

First, Black femmes seem to outnumber Black butch/studs 5 to 1. Now that's a good thing for studs—bad for femmes. It definitely promotes a higher level of competition for butch/stud attention and companionship, that is, for those who seek a balance of male/female energy. Second, a large majority of femmes in femme/stud relationships initially chose their butch/stud partners because they loved the pampering, not because they were exclusively into butch/studs. Later, the butch mystique probably got under her skin, and she became addicted to her lover's cute butch energy. Not having to fight over the bathroom and mirrors was probably another perk, for her. Third, many femmes, like straight sistahs, seem to enjoy sharing, with each other, intimate details of their sexual encounters during 'gurl-talk.' 'I've often found that behavior strange, I don't quite understand why they'd do that.' Butch/studs don't participate in in-depth sharing—only topical information is shared, if anything. We don't want to encourage our bois to crave the feel-good of the wimyn we luv. Fourth, femmes fear rejection as much as butch/studs do, which means they'll often miss key opportunities to meet interesting butch/studs. Fifth, femmes don't like to share the attentions of a butch/stud with other femmes when socializing. Apparently, it's a form of competition they prefer to avoid. Lastly, not all femmes are interested in being nurturers, i.e., cooking, cleaning, taking care of their butch/stud lover etc. like in the good old days. Some New Age femmes are actually looking to be nurtured, in all ways, by her butch/stud; cause she can't cook!

I've done my best to interpret general Black femme perspectives from my butch view. Hopefully, I've hit on some truths, and possibly missed a few important points, but I'm sure you'll straighten me out. It's Pride ya'll ... Holla!

facebook twitter google +1 reddit email

Windy City Media Group does not approve or necessarily agree with the views posted below.
Please do not post letters to the editor here. Please also be civil in your dialogue.
If you need to be mean, just know that the longer you stay on this page, the more you help us.


Gay News

Boston IVF announces Landmark Transgender Male Fertility Research Study 2020-01-07 - WALTHAM, Mass., Jan. 7, 2020 /PRNewswire/ — Boston IVF, a worldwide leader in fertility care and a pioneer in LGBTQ+ family building, today ...

Gay News

Advocates laud final Medicaid rule for gender-affirming surgery 2020-01-04 - Advocates across Illinois celebrated the final rule that regulates Medicaid coverage for gender-affirming surgery. The final rule prioritizes the patient-provider relationship, allowing ...

Gay News

Judge orders IDOC transgender healthcare overhaul 2019-12-23 - A federal judge ordered Dec. 19 that the Illinois Department of Corrections (IDOC) fix practices by which a "transgender committee"—composed of individuals with ...

Gay News

Lambda to Illinois: Issue birth certificates affirming gender identities of trans parents 2019-12-17 - ( Chicago, IL, December 17, 2019 ) — Yesterday, Myles Brady Davis and Precious Brady-Davis announced the arrival of their child, who was ...

Gay News

Raoul among attorneys general to argue trans students should use restrooms of gender identities 2019-11-27 - Chicago — Attorney General Kwame Raoul joined a coalition of 23 attorneys general to file an amicus brief in the Court of ...

Gay News

Chicagoans mark Transgender Day of Remembrance 2019-11-26 - Members of Chicago's transgender community, as well as their allies, gathered at West Point Missionary Baptist Church on the city's South Side the ...

Gay News

Local designer Richard Dayhoff brings gender neutrality to collection 2019-11-26 - One thing that makes Chicago's fashion scene distinct is the variety of designers and their own signature styles. Richard Dayhoff is one of ...

Gay News

Epidemic: Transgender Day of Remembrance 2019-11-20 - Today, on the Transgender Day of Remembrance, we mourn. In the United States alone, 22 known transgender and gender non-conforming individuals — almost ...

Gay News

ELECTIONS 2020 Kina Collins fundraiser highlights Transgender Awareness Week 2019-11-16 - Nov, 14, LGBTQ leaders and allies joined Kina Collins at the "LGBTQ+ All in for Kina!" party held at Cantina Laredo in downtown ...

Gay News

National Center for Transgender Equality dissolving staff 2019-11-14 - The National Center for Transgender Equality ( NCTE ) started 2019 with 23 staffers—but will close the month with just seven, reported. ...


Copyright © 2020 Windy City Media Group. All rights reserved.
Reprint by permission only. PDFs for back issues are downloadable from
our online archives. Single copies of back issues in print form are
available for $4 per issue, older than one month for $6 if available,
by check to the mailing address listed below.

Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and
photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no
responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials.
All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago
Gay and Lesbian News and Feature Publication) will be treated
as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such,
subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the
columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are
their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots
(Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay,
Lesbian, Bisexual and Transegender News and Feature Publication).

The appearance of a name, image or photo of a person or group in
Nightspots (Chicago GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times
(a Chicago Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender News and Feature
Publication) does not indicate the sexual orientation of such
individuals or groups. While we encourage readers to support the
advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots (Chicago
GLBT Nightlife News) and Windy City Times (a Chicago Gay, Lesbian
News and Feature Publication) cannot accept responsibility for
any advertising claims or promotions.







About WCMG Publications News Index  Entertainment Features Bars & Clubs Calendar Videos Advertisers OUT! Guide    Marriage

About WCMG      Contact Us      Online Front  Page      Windy City  Times      Nightspots      OUT! Guide     
Identity      BLACKlines      En La Vida      Archives      Subscriptions      Distribution      Windy City Queercast     
Queercast Archives      Advertising  Rates      Deadlines      Advanced Search     
Press  Releases      Event Photos      Join WCMG  Email List      Email Blast     
Upcoming Events      Todays Events      Ongoing Events      Post an Event      Bar Guide      Community Groups      In Memoriam      Outguide Categories      Outguide Advertisers      Search Outguide      Travel      Dining Out      Blogs      Spotlight  Video     
Classifieds      Real Estate      Place a  Classified     

Windy City Media Group publishes Windy City Times,
The Bi-Weekly Voice of the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Trans Community.
5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640-2113 • PH (773) 871-7610 • FAX (773) 871-7609.