Pictured Chicagoans John Pennycuff and Roberto Castillo were among those couples travelling to San Francisco in February to mark the one-year anniversary of their marriages at San Francisco's City Hall. #1 Mayor Gavin Newsom took time to pose with the couple and autographed their marriage license. #2 The couple also posed in front of city bus stop posters featuring some of the couples—including this one of Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon. Photos courtesy of Pennycuff/Castillo. #3 Helen Hoag and Pam Coward.#4 George Collins and David Leafhopper. Heidi and Sutie Goen-Salter. Photo by Jason Victor Serinus
San Francisco—One year to the day after the City and County of San Francisco issued its first marriage licenses to same-sex couples, Mayor Gavin Newsom, 37, invited all couples married in City Hall to return on Feb. 12 'to honor our shared commitment to securing equality for all Americans.' By the time the official celebration began, 90 minutes after the doors opened at 9 a.m., an estimated 1,500 couples with hundreds of children and newborns in tow had packed the floor and balconies of San Francisco's three-story City Hall.
The festivities began with Katie Kendall inviting everyone 'to mark the anniversary of the day we changed the world.' After a short preview of a forthcoming film on same-sex marriage, projected on a screen atop the imposing central stairway on which many couples took their vows, she introduced 'the women without whom none of this would be possible,' lesbian-rights pioneers Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon. Founders of the Daughters of Bilitis, a pre-Stonewall lesbian-rights organization, Martin and Lyon were the first same-sex couple married in San Francisco City Hall.
When Newsom advanced to the bottom of the stairway, he was greeted by an ovation so loud and extended that he literally found himself speechless. Reclaiming himself, he immediately declared, 'Nothing the President can say will ever take this away!'
Newsom went on to cite telling examples of discrimination in American history. In 1952, it was illegal for Asians and Caucasians to wed in 16 states. Some years later, the first African-American who married a Caucasian was sentenced to a year in jail. When in 1967, a judge declared 'Almighty God put the different races on different continents for a reason,' 70% of Americans registered their assent.
'Think how far we have come,' Newsom declared.
He then issued a challenge to his fellow politicians. 'I think it is time to hold our elected officials accountable. It is no longer acceptable for politicians to come to you every election cycle to ask for money and then say, 'It's too much, too soon' … . Separate is not equal. Don't let them get away with it … . It's only good enough to be treated with the dignity and respect every American deserves.'
Standing tall, looking like a cross between a fashion model and a star athlete, Newsom said: 'Don't believe these people who talk about tradition. It was tradition when women were not allowed to vote in elections … . Tradition upheld that African-Americans were not full citizens. In 1986 the Supreme Court declared that homosexuality should be illegal because it was tradition. Tradition does not make something right. It's changing and you're on the front lines.'
Newsom proclaimed that he had never felt more resolve, more passion, and a greater sense of commitment than when it came to finishing the work he had begun by issuing same-sex marriage licenses.
'I'm so proud that all of you had the courage to stand up a year ago and say 'I do.' Don't feel discouraged. Don't give up the fight. Don't listen to the President of the United States.'
After leading the crowd in the near-deafening chant, 'Shame on You, George W. Bush,' a defiant Mayor ended his remarks with the promise, 'The best has yet to come.'
Newsom's remarks may anticipate an expected ruling on two suits filed by the City of San Francisco and same-sex couples seeking to overturn California's prohibition of same-sex marriage. The ruling would potentially affect the California Supreme Court's decision of Aug. 12, 2004, that voided all same-sex marriage licenses issued between Feb. 12 and March 13, 2004. While legislators in California, Connecticut, Maine and Rhode Island are currently considering bills that would legalize same-sex marriage, 11 states recently passed legislation outlawing such relationships, and 21 states will be voting on constitutional amendments that would ban same-sex marriage and/or civil unions.
Despite the uncertainty that grips the nation, every couple approached at City Hall expressed a desire to talk and be photographed.
After nine years together, Helen Hoag and Pam Coward married in City Hall on Friday the 13th. They had previously married in a Quaker Church, whose spiritual services first brought them face-to-face.
'It meant everything to us,' said Hoag. 'It's sealed and recognized. Except that it's been de-recognized.'
'Not by the people that count,' added Coward.
David Leafhopper of Berkeley commented, 'Tying the knot has meant having more security in the fabric of society, being more legitimized as a couple with rights and responsibilities to one another.'
'It's the benefits I want,' chimed his partner George Collins. 'There's essentially no difference between a Domestic Partnership and a marriage as far as the State of California is concerned. But Domestic Partnership isn't recognized on the federal level. We're aiming for federal recognition through marriage which will get us entry into the big-ticket items such as social security, Medicare, and federal and veteran employee benefits.'
After waiting close to five hours in line on Feb. 14, only to have the City Hall doors shut right in front of them, Heidi and Sutie Goen-Salter returned the next day to tie the knot.
'The more we talked with other couples,' said Heidi, 'the more we realized how momentous this was. It shifted everything. There was something so powerful about being able to walk out of this building, hold up that piece of paper and be recognized as real, honest to God human beings.'
'That's the part that surprised me the most,' added Sutie. 'We were already married in our own hearts. But I didn't know it would feel so precious to have state recognition for whom I am. I feel like a full citizen for the first time in my life.
'That feeling wasn't taken away when all our marriages were annulled. And it stirred up a sudden activism in us that surprised us. The pain we felt did not rise to the level of the joy we felt on the day we got married here.'
Candace Krueger and Leigh Hessel echoed the women's activism. 'We marched in last year's Pride Parade marriage contingent with 2,000 other people. It was really empowering … . The words we said at City Hall during our wedding ceremony were so meaningful. As long-term lesbians, we had never thought that those special words would pertain to us as lesbians.'
Frank Sclafani and Donald Cremers of San Francisco married on Feb. 16. They had already lived in the house they bought together for almost 14 years, and registered as Domestic Partners in 2003.
'It was very special,' said Frank. 'It has solidified the relationship and feels like more of a commitment. It's such a mistake not to have same-sex marriage legal. Society as a whole is the winner.'
Donald continued, 'It has a sense of normalcy to it—not that everything has to be normal—to be inclusive with the rest of the world that has marriage as a commitment and as a right [and] as a privilege. We were in Denmark when we learned that our marriages have been annulled. It felt so ironic. Denmark has sanctioned full, legal same-sex marriage since 1989.'
'We need to celebrate people's committed relationships,' added Frank. 'It hurts to see people pass anti-marriage amendments state by state while people in Canada, Spain, and the European Union are moving in the opposite direction. Their societies aren't crumbling; instead, so many people's lives are the better for it.'
Kathy Devilda and Marybeth Height (soon to be Marybeth Devilda) of Orinda, Calif., never thought they'd have the opportunity to marry in City Hall. Their Feb. 16 hitch came more than five years after their personal wedding in front of 125 family members and friends.
'The City Hall ceremony gave us the opportunity to reaffirm how we feel about each other in a public and political setting,' said Kathy. 'Our feelings are just as viable and meaningful as the love that anyone has for their partner and their spouse on a lifelong basis.'
Marybeth acknowledged that she 'felt lousy' and cried when the marriages were annulled. 'After being out for 30 years, I wasn't totally surprised. While it was very depressing and sad, I didn't lose hope. I still feel that we're going forward and things will change.'
'When they replace the Governor of Massachusetts, we'll go there to get married,' affirmed Kathy. 'Then we'll go to Canada to get married. We'll keep getting married until such a time that everybody recognizes it.'
