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  WINDY CITY TIMES

Gay man on comeback trail after accident
by Ross Forman, Windy City Times
2011-05-11

This article shared 6248 times since Wed May 11, 2011
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Partners Keith Ellis and Todd Gagliano had been out with friends on a November night that dramatically changed their lives. Ellis was tired, so he went back to their Edgewater home. Gagliano stayed out with friends—and never made it home that night.

Gagliano was walking home when a car hit him at the intersection of Clark and Ridge.

Ellis learned about Gagliano's injury at about 6:30 a.m., on Nov. 22, 2010, getting the nightmare phone call that has drastically changed their lives—and impacted hundreds across the country, especially within Chicago's LGBT community.

The accident occurred near a fire station, and they responded and were on the scene immediately. Gagliano never lost oxygen to his brain and was breathing on his own, but now has admitted, "I don't remember being hit by a car. I don't even remember where we were [that night.]"

Gagliano was immediately taken to the intensive care unit at St. Francis Hospital. He suffered a skull fracture and lacerations to the left side of his brain. He had brain swelling, a bruised lung and bruises on his legs.

Doctors first told Ellis that Gagliano's bloody condition "is as bad as it can be without dying."

"You never think it's going to be you, or someone you know and love," Ellis said in late April, fighting back tears. "I knew something was wrong when I answered the phone because Todd wasn't home."

Gagliano's condition was touch-and-go for days. Doctors knew he was in danger of rapid brain swelling for the first five days, and they told Ellis that if Gagliano ever woke up, it probably wouldn't be until Easter, and they had no idea what he'd be like then.

Gagliano was in ICU until Dec. 7, and in a coma for two months. Ellis was by his side the whole time. Gagliano was transferred to Holy Family Hospital in Des Plaines in early December 2010 to wean him off the ventilator that he was on; he remained there until Jan. 20, 2011. Then he was transferred to the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago's (RIC's) downtown Chicago location, where he was officially declared out of the coma.

On Feb. 26, Gagliano was discharged. He was finally going home.

"It's just a miracle, especially so soon after the accident," Ellis said. "The first day [in the hospital last November], they told us that they weren't sure at all if he was going to make it; it was a very bleak outlook.

"Now he's home.

"Sure, it still will be several years before things get back to normal, if they ever do."

However, the tears they've endured for months have transformed into smiles more often, especially as Gagliano continues to make improvements. Even his humor is coming back, which he often adds unexpectedly to conversations.

"I'm continuing to recover and I think my physical state is much better than it used to be," Gagliano says almost matter of factly.

He is still working on his cognition, problem-solving skills, reasoning, deduction and memory—particularly the short-term memory that was injured. "It's very clear that there are gaps in my memory," Gagliano said.

However, he has almost always been able to recognize people since waking up from the coma. However, there was a time that he didn't recognize Ellis. Gagliano would also call the cats by the names of cats he had when he was younger.

Gagliano's mobility is now limited; he needs a cane for the limited walking he can do. Also, the motor skills from the left side of his body need to be improved. Plus, he often still suffers double vision.

"The amount of support that we've gotten, since day one, has been so overwhelming," Ellis said. "The first day, within an hour of me calling just a couple friends [to inform them,] the waiting room was packed. There were at least 20 people there.

"I basically have gotten to fall in love with Todd all over again because I've got to meet all of his high school friends, all of his college friends, and so many others. The outpouring of support has been insanely humbling.

"You think you know your partner, but when something like this happens and you learn about your partner from others, it's been something that I never would trade. I think I gained an entirely new family through this process."

Gagliano now goes to seven hours of physical rehabilitation three days a week at the RIC in Ravenswood. He's improving daily, though slowly—he still needs someone with him 24 hours a day. His next goal is to walk 204 feet with just the cane.

Gagliano and Ellis also are looking ahead to July 19, which will be their eighth anniversary together.

"Ultimately, I'd love for us to go away," Ellis said, fighting back tears. "Our goal is to travel somewhere [for the anniversary]," but Gagliano can't—yet.

Doctors aren't sure how the air pressure in an airplane will affect Gagliano.

In early April, though, doctors declared Gagliano out of post-traumatic amnesia, which was key, they said.

"I think a big part of [Gagliano's recovery] goes to Todd's will and determination," Ellis said.

Ellis described Gagliano's first night back home as "insanely overwhelming, total elation and also total terror because now we were doing everything at home that they were doing in the hospital."

That ride home, Ellis said with tears in his eyes, "was awesome."

They were driving on Lake Shore Drive and Gagliano was reading the signs on the side of the road, telling Ellis where things were. They stopped at Target, needing a few household items, and then Gagliano chose his first meal: McDonald's, even though they hadn't had McDonald's in three years.

Gagliano started breathing heavily that first night home and Ellis started flipping out, to put it mildly. He called the nurses immediately and asked Gagliano if he needed to be taken to the hospital. Gagliano responded, "No; I'll tell you if I need to go.'"

"It was a good evening, but scary," Ellis added.

Immediately after the accident, Ellis started a Caring Bridge website to update Gagliano's condition. The site has since had close to 30,000 hits.

"Our friends have been amazing. They've all been there. Everyone has been amazing," said Ellis, who noted that Gagliano's dodgeball and kickball teammates have repeatedly visited and donated edibles and more.

Gagliano knows he is "lucky" to be alive, and eternally grateful. Especially to Ellis.

"To my family and friends: Thank you for all that you have done and the time you have devoted to me," said Gagliano, who does not remember the accident or much of his hospital stay. In fact, when recently shown a photo of himself while at Holy Family, Gagliano wanted to know, 'Who the heck is that?'

Gagliano said that he often wonders, "Why me?" He also, crediting advice he learned at RIC, said he thinks, "Why not me?"

"We focus that God, and whatever higher power you believe [in,] has given us the strength and ability to deal with this," Ellis said.

Gagliano helps nightly with their dinner preparation. He also helps with laundry and other chores.

"I think about how much of a miracle it is that I can stand and walk and that my brain is active," Gagliano said.

Ellis and Gagliano had their first post-accident date night in mid-April, going to the Lookingglass Theatre. Hours after meeting with this reporter for the interview, they were planning to go to a movie.

"When I saw Todd in the ICU, I thought I was going to faint," said Craig Kimberly of Chicago, a longtime friend of the two. "To see him today, it's amazing. It's a miracle, nothing short of that. And continuing."

Chuck Gagliano, Todd's brother, came to Chicago from his home in Maryland in mid-April—and hadn't been around his sibling since February. Todd wasn't walking, talking or eating last February—and was sipping coffee at Starbucks during this interview.

The improvements Todd has made are "absolutely amazing—a blessing," Chuck said. "All of the little things that we took for granted before the accident are now things that we no longer take for granted. We now really appreciate them."

Chuck and his partner, Matt Chapman, have been together for almost 11 years.

The Gaglianos' parents learned Todd was gay last November, while their son was fighting for his life. They laugh about that now.

Joann and Chuck Gagliano Sr., had visited Chicago from their Florida home in May 2010, when Todd received his master's degree. Ellis was introduced at the time as just a friend.

The night of the accident, Ellis had to tell them that their son not only had a life-threatening accident, but that they had been in a relationship for seven years, and he had power of attorney.

Two days after the accident, Chuck Sr., said to Ellis, "I don't understand, but as long as my son is happy, we're OK [with anyone's sexual orientation.]"

Everyone gets along perfectly nowadays, Ellis and Chuck Gagliano said. "His parents have been amazing," Ellis said.

The apple, Todd, doesn't fall far from the tree. "It would be much easier for me to say, 'I don't care,' and just give up. But I don't say those words," Gagliano said.


This article shared 6248 times since Wed May 11, 2011
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