THE VOICE OF CHICAGO'S GAY, LESBIAN, BI, TRANS AND QUEER COMMUNITY SINCE 1985

In the RS interview, Santana discussed being a follower of guru Sri Chinmoy. Eventually, Santana told RS, "everything about him turned into vinegar—what used to be honey turned into vinegar." One turning point was when he heard Chinmoy pontificate meanly about Billie Jean King because she'd talked of a lesbian relationship, RS reports. "And a part of me was, 'What the fuck is all this—this guy's supposed to be spiritual after all these years; mind your own spiritual business and leave her alone.'" Santana also comes out about being molested as a young boy by an older man—and what a devastating impact that had on his life. "Whether you are a woman or man who has been raped or molested, you don't have to ruin the rest of your life and ruin your family's life by blaming yourself, feeling dirty, ashamed. Burn all those things, man," he says. The molestation happened when Carlos was between 10 and 12 years old, and the man would take Carlos from Mexico into California, buy him things and sexually molest him. Carlos, who is straight, says he is now at ease with his sexuality: "But now I am comfortable in my own skin. When I first met Dave Matthews, I was so attracted to him, even though I'm not gay, because he is so comfortable in his own skin. I was never comfortable in my own skin. I was always crawling out of my skin. Now I am more content with Carlos, and I am more proud of Santana." He shows the reporter a photo of himself as a young boy: "This is the guy I want to honor. Because this is all before that happened. This is that guy. This is Carlos before all that went down." Heartbreaking, and heartwarming to see such a strong and sensitive man honored at the Grammys.