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  WINDY CITY TIMES

Moms remember late son with fund
by Kristin Kowalski
2010-07-28

This article shared 6681 times since Wed Jul 28, 2010
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Almost nine months after losing their son, mothers Joy McCormick and Siu Moy are still dressed in black and wear necklaces with Frankie's face and name on them, so that he is always close to their hearts. In their home, they have a table full of memories of Frankie—pictures as a baby with Joy to a photo of a rainbow that appeared on the morning he was buried, Sox memorabilia, and many other little things that his mothers collected throughout his life.

Francisco "Frankie" Valencia, Jr., was born March 16, 1988 at Illinois Masonic Hospital in Chicago. "He was a very rambunctious, inquisitive child," Joy said. "He was always a leader at school." Frankie was an accomplished student and athlete throughout high school.

"When he graduated high school, he was really looking for role models," said Joy. "He started asking himself what it was to be a man and what kind of man he wanted to be." She said that Frankie fell in love with DePaul's mission statement and even sabotaged his other college applications so that DePaul was his only choice.

"Frankie really believed in Chicago," said Joy. "He followed his passions, which were politics and service." Frankie found a role model in Barack Obama and went to Iowa to help with his presidential campaign. His goal was to be a local politician and make Chicago a safer place for youth.

"He believed in socially responsible leadership," said Joy. She said that when he was asked why he believed in socially responsible leadership, Frankie said, "I believe because I hope." Frankie had his whole life planned out—he wanted to go to law school at the University of Chicago; he wanted to get married and have a family; and someday he wanted to be a history teacher in order to teach the subject in an interesting and engaging way, according to Joy.

Just a few days after his death, Frankie was supposed to have received the Lincoln Laureate award, a prestigious award given to Illinois college seniors who show excellence in their studies and commitment to extracurricular activities. Instead, Joy and Siu received the award at Frankie's funeral. In February 2010, Frankie was supposed to have found out if he had obtained an internship at the White House. Instead, Joy and Siu received a letter of condolence from President Obama. In June 2010, he was supposed to have graduated college. Instead, his friends and classmates graduated without him.

"He lived life like every day would be his last," said Joy. On his last night, Frankie attended the annual family Halloween party and took his younger relatives trick-or-treating. Joy and Siu decided to dress up and go out for Halloween that year, which they didn't normally do. Before they left, Joy encouraged her 21-year-old son, Frankie, to go to a party one of his friends was throwing. She still carries the weight of those words with her.

"The events of that night were really unusual," said Joy. Frankie's father, Francisco Valencia Sr., let Frankie borrow his car for the night, which didn't happen often. Frankie was going to a friend's party, but on the way found out that the party fell through. Daisy Camacho, the friend he was with, suggested a party that she knew of that one of her friends was throwing.

According to Joy, when the reputed gang members tried to crash the party the first time, Frankie and Daisy were upstairs and didn't even know anything happened. A little while later Daisy found out that one of her friends was almost to the party. They went to the front door to greet him.

When they opened the front door, one of the reputed gang members was back and started randomly shooting. Frankie was rushed to Illinois Masonic Hospital. Back at home, his mothers, Joy and Siu, were just returning from their party. Siu found out that something had happened to Frankie and told Joy to change because they had to leave for the hospital. Joy thought that something had happened to her ex-husband and brother-in-law because they had been in a separate cab.

It wasn't until they got in the car that Siu told Joy that Frankie had been shot. "I said, 'What do you mean it's Frankie?" said Joy. "To us, Frankie was like superman. He was invincible." Siu said that Frankie was winning awards and scholarships all the time—he was always adding to his many accomplishments.

When they arrived at the hospital, they didn't have any idea what condition Frankie was in. "They couldn't tell me where he was shot," said Siu.

"I was just out of control," said Joy. She just wanted to see her son. Joy said, "Next thing I knew they came out and said he was gone."

"We really were living the American dream," said Joy. Then from the moment they found out Frankie was shot, "we started living this nightmare."

The family that Joy and Siu built was based around togetherness and family traditions they started to keep them close. "One of our traditions was to have family day. Sunday was our family day," said Joy. "Now we spend Sundays going to the cemetery."

Francisco Valencia is survived by Joy; Siu; his father, Francisco Valencia Sr.; and his siblings, Victor Valencia, Christian Mora and Stephanie Valencia.

"At first, I didn't want to deal with it," said Joy. "My whole life was based on family, the family that Siu and I were building."

"I felt like everything was lost," said Joy," that I died with him." To cope, Joy, Siu, and their other son go to counseling. It's not a matter of moving on, it's figuring out how to carry it forward, said Joy. "The scars that we have from this," said Joy, "we'll carry to our own graves."

Now they hope to carry some of Frankie's dreams and goals forward. "I'm happy to dedicate my life to that," said Joy.

"I think that our story tells people that if this could happen to us, it could happen to anybody," said Joy. Joy and Siu raised their children in a good neighborhood with good family oriented values. Joy hopes to get other people involved in working to make Chicago a safer place for youth. She doesn't want Frankie's death to be just a sad story.

One way they are carrying Frankie's memory forward is the Francisco Valencia Memorial Scholarship Fund at DePaul. The scholarship will assist an undergraduate student who "demonstrates an interest and commitment to service and leadership," has a GPA of 2.5 or above, "demonstrates financial need," and completes an essay on how they promote social justice through community service and activism, according to a flyer on the scholarship.

Recently, a DePaul student who didn't even know Frankie or his family, but was touched by his story, planned an event to raise funds for the scholarship. She started working on the event when she found out that the scholarship didn't yet have enough funds to become endowed; without endowment, the scholarship won't be sustained.

There are four ways to donate: online, by phone, by mail or with an electronic funds transfer. To donate online go to alumni.depaul.edu/give/givingform.aspx. To donate by phone call at 312-362-8666. To donate by mail send a check or credit card payment to:

Funds for DePaul University

Development Lockbox

14035 Collections Center Drive

Chicago, Ill., 60693

Please indicate "Francisco" Valencia Memorial Scholarship on the payment. To make an electronic funds transfer, visit the website mentioned above. For more information about the scholarship and how to contribute contact Jeff Brown, assistant director of DePaul University's Office of Multicultural Student Affairs, at 773-325-7325 or Jbrown56@depaul.edu .


This article shared 6681 times since Wed Jul 28, 2010
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