Written by Jenny Block. $16.95; Seal Press; 276 pages.
So you've met someone nice.
Part of you ( the overjoyed part ) wonders if people on the street can see your heart expanding when you think of your new beloved. The rational part of you wants to take it a day at a time because you don't want that expanding heart broken into a kazillion pieces. And the cynical part of you knows that this may very well be the latest in a string of heartache.
So you've met someone nice. Do you think it will last?
Author Jenny Block had her doubts about her marriage. It just wasn't working out, but in the book Open, she writes about a solution that worked for her.
As a young girl growing up in a liberal, "ex-hippie" household, Jenny Block was taught to think for herself. Still, her mother shepherded her into "nice" and being a "good girl." During her childhood, Block aspired to the same thing nearly every little girl wants: the Handsome Prince and the Happy Marriage.
But even then, she distinctly questioned that dream.
During her teenage years, she began to think hard about her sexuality and the dual rules for males and females. By the time she headed for college, she says she knew "it was okay for sex to be fun and happy; and I would embrace it not only as good, but also as perfectly acceptable."
Block quickly discovered that she loved sleeping with men, but "craved" sleeping with women.
When she met Christopher, a man she could settle down with, she figured she had sown her wild oats enough. She was happy to get married, but it soon became obvious that Block and her husband's libidos were not synched. After the birth of their daughter and a move to suburbia, Block realized she was incredibly unhappy. She had an affair with a married woman, which spurred her to ask Christopher--a man she deeply loved--to consider an open marriage.
He, reluctantly at first, then eagerly, consented.
After fits and starts, a few brief flings, and some long, dry times, Block now has a girlfriend. Her husband, Christopher "is my rock," Block says, "but she [ the girlfriend ] is my sky."
While author Jenny Block's basic premise is inspiring to anyone interested in stepping into this lifestyle, and while I do love a happy ending, what comes before it literally put me to sleep. Yes, it took courage to pen this story, but Block spends a lot of time and paper defending her position and reasoning, and squalling about how honesty and openness are important but that it's ultimately nobody else's business. She dissects, then claims to dislike, "labels" but eventually labels her sexuality for benefit of the curious. Furthermore, she complains about unwelcome armchair therapy from dissenters, but feels free to do the Freud thing on them.
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
Recently released in paperback, if this book is new to you, there's probably a reason. Thickly embellished and filled with unnecessary contention, Open isn't much worth opening.
Want more? Look for One Big Happy Family: 18 Writers Talk About Polyamory, Open Adoption, Mixed Marriage, Househusbandry, Single Motherhood, and Other Realities of Truly Modern Love by Rebecca Walker, and A Pebble in His Shoe: The Diary of a Straight Spouse by Dr. Francine Barbetta.
