Pubert: I'm picking all summer videos to review this month. Summer is finally here!
Ghost: I always like a star guide on the back. Ohhh, Ray Dragon.
P: Red Dragon?
G: No Ray, grrr…
Speaking of Ray Dragon, he plays the leader of the lifeguards in our first scene.
P: He's spying on gays at the beach.
G: Jan Brady's imaginary boyfriend George Glass stars in this video!
P: Ha ha, I gotta watch that episode when I get home.
We go inside the office of a father and his new son-in-law, taking a break from the sun.
P: Oh my gosh, he is taking off his clothes. What will his daughter say?
G: That's a horny dad.
P: He's playing mind games with the kid, very Silence of the Lifeguards.
G: Creepy. On the other hand, Cliff Rhodes is a really sexy man with a giant cock.
P: It is always good to use the other hand every once in a while.
G: Speaking of which, they are so seriously stroking each other dicks.
P: It's the gay man's handshake. Hello!
G: 10 points for that cumshot.
P: They are rerunning it like a thousand times!
G: They want their money's worth.
P: Thumbs up on that fountain o' spunk.
One of the lifeguards goes shopping in the next part.
P: That guy was at the Grabbys. Derrick Hansen.
G: He works out at my gym in San Francisco.
P: He just walked into the backroom of the store, like he lives there or something.
G: There are stacks of porn in the back. And now another guy wanders back there.
P: Are we at the Ram?
G: He can suck dick alright.
P: I would have been friendlier if I had known that at the Park West.
G: Here comes Mr. Frontdesk.
P: I can't believe that one man just called it a 'tallywhacker.' Fuckin hilarious.
G: After a hot three way, they all cum on the floor together.
P: Dirty sticky floors. Wait, they are not done.
G: This video is four hours, it is gonna last. They are fucking on the table now.
P: They are having a good time. Maybe because they know each other in real life.
G: Aggressive cummer, that store clerk.
P: The video just went black and white and turned into a fisting scene.
G: It's a sepia tone; this is the director's cut.
P: Well, a hardware store is the perfect place for gloves and lube.
The final scene is an interview for the new recruit on the beach.
P: He's making him try on his swimsuit in front of him.
G: And the other guy in the background is pumping weights and watching.
P: This is totally unethical.
G: Call the labor board. This is a HR violation!
P: I have seen a penis like that before. That banana curves way to the left.
G: It's not snack size.
P: Dragon is breathing fire up his ass.
G: He's so sexy. He gets to fuck his employee.
P: It's only a fantasy, G.
G: He is not going to fit in that speedo. His ass won't even fit.
P: His boss is sucking him. Don't fight it, new kid on the block!
G: Listen to his half-hearted protests.
P: 'No stop, ohh yeah…'
G: A sixth person is now joining in. This is getting distracting.
P: There are a lot of lives to save in this lifeguard office.
G: Best summer job ever. Some kid is probably drowning on the beach while all these guys are inside.
P: It's lasting into the night.
G: Switched into a watersport segment.
P: Hey readers, pick up the director's cut.
G: Yup, more bang for your buck.
P: I loved the beach music at the end. Frankie and Annette eat your heart out!
Pubert: Thumbs up the director's butt.
G: Thumbs up the butt.
To practice mouth to mouth with this lifeguard video go to www.titanmen.com .
For past reviews from Pubert and the gang visit www. Windycitymediagroup.com and type in 'pubert.'