October 1st, 1997 to October 7th, 1997

We Are Everywhere

Suburban Connections - Calumet City

by Sarah Hendershot

The drive into Calumet City at night resembles the drive into just about any other small city in the country: endless strips of gas stations and fast food joints surrounded by very dark and quiet side streets clustered with cozy new-ish houses. But Calumet City is different from the other suburbs of Chicago. It has a gay nightlife that is steeped in history, a mayor with a lesbian liaison to the gay and lesbian community, and a gay community that is more natural and less contrived than anyplace most people could hope to visit.

Calumet City is situated on the South Side of Chicago, bordering Hammond, Ind. Jerry Genova, Calumet City's mayor for four and a half years, is considered pretty progressive. He is responsible for instituting sensitivity training for all city employees. The training has been in practice for three years now and includes the subject of sexual orientation. A Democrat and lifelong Calumet City resident, he is also credited for "breaking the color barrier" by appointing Black people to high administrative positions: a first for Calumet City. Recently, he announced his candidacy for Illinois Treasurer, and says he thinks he's getting very close to nomination. So far, he is the only Democrat running against incumbent Judy Topinka, who is a Republican.

Mayor Genova believes that while Calumet City does not have a hate crimes bill, a domestic-partnership registry, or extension of benefits to same-sex partners of city employees, the city is doing its part to promote equality. "The basic premise is that all residents are to be respected and have full rights," he said. When it was pointed out that forbidding a small but significant portion of Americans the right to marry can hardly be considered "full human rights," the mayor quietly conceded and said, "We do our part at the municipal level."

Although gay-oriented legislation has never been introduced in Calumet City, Mayor Genova stressed his belief in equality and added that equality may be possible without gay-specific legislation in Calumet City because of its small size. The mayor said that gay issues have never come up, but that he is open to dialogue. "We have always been inclusive. ... We have gay people in the administration." He also pointed out that Calumet City has many gay businesses, including several gay bars. "A very good amount of bars," said the mayor.

When asked about a domestic-partnership registry, like the one recently enacted in the village of Oak Park, Genova was unfamiliar with the concept. When explained to him, he replied, "We would be very interested in hearing something about it." Asked if Calumet City extends benefits to the same-sex partners of city employees, he said it had never come up in union talks, but that he'd "be happy" to listen if it were to come up.

On July 17, Mayor Genova took a big (and self-initiated) step toward inclusiveness by appointing Cindi Pallick, who is Cal City born and raised, as his liaison to the gay community. She was on the city's housing authority for three years and is currently on its zoning board. The mayor knew she was gay ("Other politicians think I'm a bit of a rebel," said Pallick) when he appointed her to those commissions. So far, the mayor has utilized his liaison by asking her for her advice on gay-related issues. Asked what issues she brings to her position with the mayor, she said she's very concerned about AIDS and that she would like to see a non-discrimination act in Cal City, which, incidentally, the mayor had already approached her about. She also said that if she saw that gays in Cal City wanted a domestic-partnership registry she would approach the mayor with it. She feels sure he'd be receptive.

Regarding the recent news that two gay bars in the city are closing, Pallick said, "The development is ... unfortunate for the gay bars." She points out that the two bars were by no means targeted for shut down by the city.

Pallick says the mayor is taking steps to be receptive to the city's gay community. She says that he understands there are issues and needs in the gay community and he has made efforts to understand and accommodate those needs. The gay community appears undemanding.

Pallick considers the gay community in Cal City "stifled." She explains that gays are closeted and afraid of repercussions if they come out or become visible in local government. "I've found the government to be very open to us," said Pallick.

Regardless of the absence of protective laws for gays, Mayor Genova maintains, "We simply treat everyone the same. Everyone is an American."

State and Federal Politics: From Human Rights to ENDA
"You don't expect Calumet City to be a hotbed for gay rights, but it is," says Rick Garcia of the Illinois Federation for Human Rights. He describes State Rep. Arlene Fantin as "excellent." In April 1996, she was on the side of the Federation by voting for the addition of sexual orientation to the state's human-rights act. This past April, she voted a "nay" on prohibiting same-sex marriage, again voting on the side of the Federation.

According to Garcia, State Sen. Bill Shaw is another prize for Calumet City. "He always votes with us. He's one of our strongest supporters."

In addition, U.S.Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr., whose district covers Calumet City, scored a 100 on the Human Rights Campaign 1996 scorecard. He voted for improved housing opportunities for people with AIDS and for ENDA, the employment non-discrimination act, for gays and lesbians.

The Fascinating History of Mr. B's
Richard Bonkowski bought the bar June 15, 1950 and originally called it the Esquire. However, the magazine of the same name didn't like being associated with a gay bar and sued. He then called the bar Ups and Downs, but when renewing his license in 1967, the mayor told him the name was obscene and Bonkowski was given three minutes to come up with a better name. After wisely dismissing the urge to name the bar Delicate Dicks, using the nickname for Richard, he came up with Mr. B's.

Mr. B's originally was evenly mixed between gay men and lesbians, but Mr. B had too many problems with his female clients. He believes that lesbians are more aggressive when cruising and have less respect for relationships than their male counterparts. "If one girl sees another girl she's gonna go after her, even if she's with someone," he said. This led to many hassles that were too much for Mr. B. So, "I told them all I'm gonna throw them all out." Elizabeth Tocci got wind of this and opened The Patch, believed to be the oldest lesbian bar in the U.S., and the rejected women of Mr. B's found a new spot within walking distance.

Mr. B's is believed to be the oldest gay bar in the United States-but it closed its doors at the end of September to make way for the city's redevelopment plan. However, Mr. B's wasn't singled out: about 40 liquor licenses have been pulled along Stateline Highway to make room for new office buildings, according to Mayor Jerry Genova. The one other gay bar that will close as a result of the redevelopment plan is Intrigue, a lesbian bar. "All [bars] are welcome to relocate," offered the mayor.

Mr. B's is located on what was known as Sin Strip before Mayor Genova ridded it of most of the 40 "adult" businesses that littered a two-block strip on Stateline Highway. The businesses were mostly strip joints and porn shops. Now the strip is mostly a mixed community of bars and residences. The strip serves as the border between Indiana and Illinois. Mr. B's clientele is mostly in the age range of 35 years and older and hail from Cal City, surrounding suburbs, and Indiana.

Don Kuzevich, who would have owned Mr. B's for five years on Nov. 1, bought the bar from its original owner, Richard Bonkowski. Mr. B bought it 47 years ago, when it existed as a straight bar. Post WWII steel mill workers were its main clientele, and though the bar wasn't billed specifically as gay at the time, Kuzevich estimates it was 80% gay in the beginning. Mr. B, who is now in his 70s, wanted to retire and so sold the bar to Kuzevich, who had been working for him for one year at that time. Mr. B hasn't deserted his namesake though. He has bartended every Tuesday night since selling.

Asked about his feelings on the bar's closing Kuzevich responded, "I've been coming here over 20 years. It's a little nostalgic thing. There's a lot of memories."

The Closing Party
Saturday, Sept. 20 in Calumet City was a night of celebration and somber good-byes for many in the gay community as Mr. B's hosted its closing party.

Old-time friends stop at Mr. B's to say hello, share memories, and say goodbye. Mr. B's former pianist and organist was one such visitor. Jack Ross, in his mid-80s, has been a musician since 1929 and began playing at Mr. B's in 1957. "I'm the oldest guy in here," laughs Ross.

Others grasp Mr. B's hand and kiss him as they walk past. Young men flirt with him and older ones exclaim over time gone by. Mr. B is 76. "I'm not ashamed of it because I think I've held up well," he says.

The bar is long and dark, with loud music playing Tina Turner, Melissa Etheridge, ABBA, Peter Gabriel, and Prince. Hard porn plays on a television set over the bar; it appears totally out of place in a bar where everyone seems like family. Aside from the usual rectangular-bar-with-pool-table room, there is a room with a dance floor and a room that looks like a small hotel lobby: tables lamps, framed paintings, nice chairs. There is an electronic bowling game in a corner. A man stops me to explain that a pinball machine used to be in its spot-and was responsible for more than a few loves. Apparently in the old days Mr. B used to match up men who were too shy to talk by making them play pinball together.

Mr. B's is mostly male and white, but it has become more diverse in regards to age than most bars, gay or straight. There are many men in their 60s, 70s and 80s, plenty in their 30s-50s, plenty also of the typical bar age (early 20s), and a couple who don't look a day over 18.

Dan, a man with pretty eyes who looks about half his age, has been coming to Mr. B's for 20 years now. He says that 20 years ago Mr. B's was a neighborhood bar where everyone knew each other. It's hard for an outsider to imagine that Mr. B's could have ever been homier than it is now. It closely resembles the social environment of an all-male and more crowded Cheers.

Although Dan hasn't had a drink since 1982, he is a regular fixture at the bar because it is the only place for gays in the area to meet. "I come because of the people I know," he says. A lifelong resident of Hammond, Ind., he pretty regularly goes to Chicago with friends for the nightlife, but feels that Cal City bars supply most of his socializing needs. One difference he notes between gay life in Cal City and gay life in Chicago is visibility. "Out this way it's like more people are afraid that someone is going to find out," he says.

Dan has been a cook at a nearby hospital for the past 20 years. He came out in his teens and is out to his family, and his parents and sisters live with him in his home. "I've seen a lot of friends from this area leave to go to Chicago. If I ever lose my mother it's time for me to leave this area," he says.

How else has Mr. B's changed over the years? "We're all getting older. Be grateful we're all still alive," said Ken from Indiana, who has also been coming to Mr. B's for 20 years.

Jerry Gidney, a customer since 1970 who also bartended for Mr. B for 1-1/2 years in the mid-'80s, agrees that the bar has changed over the years. Now it's "more of a drinking group. For years it was a little more social. It's a different crowd."

There is talk that Mr. B's owner, Don Kuzevich, may re-open Mr. B's in a different location after taking some time off, but nothing is certain yet. Gidney says, "What we need out here is a bar that can be open in a nicer area. The days of the factory area are out. This area is a drug area [and] prostitution."

The closing party is festive and the bar is packed. The management men wear suits with rose corsages. Mr. B glides around the bar, the perfect host as he greets, shakes hands, gives and receives hugs. It's easy to see why everyone likes his so much. At times throughout the evening it seems like he has icon status for locals. He has a reputation for selflessness and genuine kindness. Example: he takes time away from his and Don's party to give me a midnight tour of Cal City.

First to Intrigue, the lesbian bar that will also close down due to redevelopment plans. Intrigue is about 100 yards from Mr. B's. The bar is packed. It contains all women, and is completely postered with female hard bodies, but the environment is more low key and not as happy and connected as the bar we came from. The crowd is very young. We quickly moved on to Patch, better known as Tocci's, after owner Elizabeth Tocci.

There is one thing besides owning America's oldest known gay and lesbian bars that Tocci and Mr. B have in common. Tocci and Mr. B are clearly adored, even revered. They hug like the old friends they are and speak with great respect of one another. Tocci recalls the days when Mr. B used to make weekly drives to Chicago just to collect all the gay papers and bring them back to Cal City for distribution.

The Patch is 34 years old, and has been at its current location-about five blocks from Mr. B's-for 26 years. The bar is pretty empty for a Saturday night but the adage "quality, not quantity" really holds true here. Even more so than at Mr. B's, all the customers at Tocci's are long-time regulars who all know each other. All are easy going and friendly and happy to talk at length about Tocci's big heart and wonderful ways.

Tocci, too, is proud. "There was nothing in Chicago before. They all came here," she says. (Chuck Rodocker, owner of Chicago's Touché, and a patron of Mr. B's for the past 30 years, agrees. "Cal City 47 years ago made Las Vegas look tame.")

Proudly, Tocci tells me that the mayor once paid a visit and told her she had "a nice and clean place." Tocci was inducted into Chicago's Gay and Lesbian Hall of Fame, and she's looking to sell her bar after 34 years of "serving" the community.

She gives a tour of the bar, showing off the signs stapled to the ceiling she has kept from the old days, handwritten signs declaring the rules or drink prices of the time. She has a wall dedicated to famous people from Calumet City and clippings from everything written about the Patch. One interesting sign on the ceiling reads "Unemployment Party." Tocci explains that when the mills in the area closed she hosted a potluck party. "A lot of the girls were out of work. The ones who had work would buy drinks for the ones who didn't."

One dedicated customer is Debbie Burks. She is from Harvey and says she moved to Cal City 14 years ago for the sole reason of being closer to the Patch. She says she goes to Tocci's daily and sits on the same stool each day. Apparently that's not unusual. Tocci says that most of the stools in the bar have "owners'" names written underneath them. Asked if she ever goes to Chicago for the nightlife, Burks responds, "No. Why should I when Tocci is right here? Cal City has a very strong gay community." Burks says Cal City doesn't have gay bashing, harassment or homophobia: in her 14 years she has never encountered a problem. And in its 34 years, the Patch has never had a problem either. Burks says it's because "A city will tend to overlook a tavern. It's safe."

Burks soaks up every one of Tocci's words: there is some serious admiration here. "I've been real high in my life when everything was real good and I've been real low when everything was real bad ... [Tocci is] always there. I don't know how she does it. You just know if something goes wrong in your life you come here and all our friends are here and everything's gonna get better," says Burks.

At the other end of the bar, Carol McLearen and Cory Yara are celebrating their 20th anniversary. They live in Shorewood and drive one hour to get to Tocci's. They come once every few weeks and are in a pool league at the bar. Yara has been a customer at the Patch for 25 years. Yara and McLearen say they have never been to Intrigue, the only other lesbian bar in the area. They say they are loyal to Tocci.

"It's all like family in here. Even if you don't [know anyone], in five minutes you do, and you're friends for life," says McLearen.

Yara describes Tocci as "just a wonderful, giving person." Both agree that Tocci "goes out of her way to help people." Yara and McLearen rave about Mr. B's and Tocci's big hearts, and Yara says, "Mr. B is just the greatest guy you ever met. You go there [to Mr. B's]: it's warm and friendly."

Before buying a house in Shorewood, the couple lived in Palos Hills for 13 years. Although both communities are small and mostly straight, they say they have never had a problem. "Everyone-neighbors-are very accepting. It's just two women living together [who] ... own a home," says Yara of neighbors' reactions.

Is there a gay community in Cal City proper? Mr. B's owner Don Kuzevich says there is.

"The gay community [in Calumet City] supports two lesbian bars [and] five men's bars. We'd have to have a pretty good community [to do that,]" he said.

DEMOGRAPHICS

18.8 Square km

38,223 Population

73.3% White

23.7% Black

.6% Asian or Pacific Islander

6.4% Hispanic

5.1% Are foreign born

52.7% Women

$30,138 Median Income

9.8% Live below poverty level

The Bars

Dick's RU Crazee, 48 - 154th, Men

708-891-2996

Intrigue 582 Stateline, Cal. City, Women

708-868-5240

Mr. B's 606 Stateline, Cal City, Men

708-862-1221

Patch 201 - 155th St., Cal City, Women

708-891-9854

Pour House 103- 155th Pl., Cal City, Men

708-891-3980

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