October 8th, 1997 to October 14th, 1997

Domestic violence knows no bounds-

1st national report details 2,352 same-sex cases

by Lori Weiner

Results of the first comprehensive Lesbian and Gay Domestic Violence Report were released inChicago by Horizons Community Services Oct. 6. The report, which included both local and national statistics on domestic violence, also offered recommendations for curbing the epidemic of domestic violence in lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transsexual relationships.

The proposals, which include comprehensive community-based services and treatment protocols for both batterers and victims, come after last April's publication of general statistics about violence against and within the gay and lesbian community. Recent studies suggest that the rate of domestic violence in the lesbigay communities probably equals that of the heterosexual community.

According to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP), a coalition of lesbigay victim advocacy and documentation programs with approximately 25 member organizations, 2,352 cases of domestic violence were reported nationally in 1996. Of these, 1,191 incidents were reported by men, 1,161 by women. In Chicago, 166 cases were reported in 1996, with 94 involving women and 72 involving men.

Twelve of NCAVP's 25 groups participated in the study, serving a population of only 47 million, or less than 20% of the total national population. The actual number of lesbigays involved in abusive relationships is probably far higher than the 2,352 cases reported; academic prevalence studies suggest the percentage to be around 25%-33%, the same ratio as for the heterosexual community.

Although published studies examining the prevalence of battering in the lesbigay community are sparse and tend not to use random sampling techniques, several well-known studies are cited in the new report on Lesbian and Gay Domestic Violence. For example, Lockhart, White, Causby and Isaac (1994) surveyed more than 1,000 lesbians attending that year's Michigan Womyn's Music Festival and found that 31% of respondents had "experienced physical aggression" from a partner, while 11.6% had experienced "severe physical aggression" on a recurring basis.

The report also cites the Harms (1995) survey of 393 gay and bisexual men in the Castro neighborhood of San Francisco: 26.1% of respondents reported that they had been violent in their current or most recent male-male relationship; 25.5% reported that their partners had been violent.

The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs blames a "profound lack of services" as a major contributor to the invisibility of lesbigay domestic violence. According to the report, many lesbigays perceive battering as a heterosexual phenomenon and therefore, may not be as likely to recognize its patterns in their own relationships. The report further states that " ... since most traditional domestic violence services are designed to serve heterosexual female victims and heterosexual male offenders, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered persons affected by domestic violence have difficulty locating appropriate assistance."

While many battered women's shelters are willing to accept lesbian victims of battering, few lesbians appear to take advantage of these shelters. Renzetti (1992) found that battered lesbians were "unlikely to seek services from traditional battered women's shelters and do not generally perceive such services as helpful." And services for battered gay men are virtually non-existent: according to Toni Carrigan, Director of the Anti-Violence Project, Helpline and Legal Services for Horizons Community Services, gay men in abusive relationships typically "stay in the (abusive) situation, seek shelter from a friend, or go to a homeless shelter. There are no shelters clearly marked as safe spaces for battered men."

The report also addresses legal issues involved in prosecuting cases of domestic violence. Of the 50 states, seven define "domestic" in such a way so that same-sex relationships are excluded. Other states may or may not consider same-gender relationships to be "domestic," depending upon case law interpretation and, in some cases, sodomy statutes which can nullify claims of domestic violence.

In Illinois, same-sex relationships are protected under statutes regulating domestic violence. Speaking at the press conference, Cook County First Assistant State's Attorney Dave Erickson stressed his department's commitment to prosecuting domestic violence cases equally and sensitively, regardless of the victim's sexual orientation. Erickson cited the State's Attorney's Domestic Violence Unit, consisting of 24 community-trained prosecutors who each spend 18 months of service on the unit, as one example of the State's Attorney's commitment to curbing domestic violence in all communities. A former judge, Erickson stated emphatically that the treatment protocol for domestic violence offenders should include prison.

Ellen Meyers, Lesbian and Gay Community Relations Specialist at the State's Attorney's Office, addressed the press conference with a moving account of her own experiences with domestic violence and emotional abusive relationships. (The complete text of Meyers' statement is at right.)

Toni Carrigan stressed that to effectively combat domestic violence, "we must stop blaming the victims, we (anti-violence programs) must receive more funding, and we must operate from the principle that all forms of domestic violence are unacceptable in our society."

Carrigan also raised the need for legislative changes, such as the repeal of sodomy laws, to better protect victims of same-sex domestic violence.

The Horizons 24-Hour Anti-Violence Hotline can be reached at (773) 871-CARE.

Survivor's Story

by Ellen Meyers

The following statement was read by Chicago lesbian activist Ellen Meyers during the Horizons press conference on domestic violence.
I stand before you today as a lesbian survivor of domestic violence. My coming forward with the identity of a lesbian or a survivor has not been without a personal journey. When I came out in 1979, there were really no role models or positive images of lesbian and gay people. As I came of age, I felt incredibly bad about myself, that my sexual orientation meant something was the matter with me, that I had failed in some way.

No role models and a poor self-image lent themselves to my getting into relationships that included domestic violence. I am speaking here today as a private citizen, however, from my experience as the Lesbian and Gay Community Relations Specialist at the [Cook County] State's Attorney's Office I began to remember things that happened to me that, if I heard they happened to someone else, I would classify them as domestic violence.

I was fortunate in the sense that my physical injuries never went beyond a few incidents of bruises. When the violence first started, I had just finished my stint as a court advocate for domestic violence survivors. Because my physical injuries never looked like any of the photos and because I was involved with a woman, the term domestic violence never applied to me. It would never have occurred to me then that I was in that situation. Yet, domestic violence happened to me.

My relationships tended to be filled with other elements of abuse, especially emotional. I feel that the emotional abuse is the one that takes the true toll on survivors because it touches our very essence of being, our very definition of self. I was isolated from my friends and other support systems because she did not like those people or activities. The aspect of that is, when you end the relationship, there are fewer friends to turn to for support. And, if they are friends in common, you certainly would not want to disclose the reason why you really are leaving her.

By internalizing value judgments placed upon me by her as well as her rules, I agreed with what she said because, after all, she was probably right. My being a lesbian made it okay to be in an abusive relationship because there was something inherently wrong with me anyway. I had to be by the phone in case she called whereas I was not able to reach her because she was out. In the event she stopped by unannounced, I better be there or have a valid reason whyI was not. When I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, I stayed in abusive relationships because I felt that this was the best I could get because, as with being a lesbian, this made me less than whole.

Sex was used as a weapon and reward. Affection was withheld with varying spoken or unspoken reasons and it was up to me to figure it out. Sex happened whether I wanted it or not. I remember being assaulted anally despite my saying no and trying to stop her. After a while, I just felt that if I lay there she would finish quicker. When I spoke to her afterwards, she laughed and said I probably enjoyed it.

A subconscious flicker went on in my brain after that, only to be ignited later, that this was domestic violence. The emotional toll has been tremendous. Because I had spent many of my formative adult years in abusive situations, it took a while to grow up and realize my sense of self. I learned how to date with women who were not threatened by negotiation. I realized that domestic violence was about power and control and I spent several years being furious with myself thinking that I had allowed someone to control and tell me what I really thought or should be thinking.

Being a survivor shakes to the core. The thing about being here today for me is not about coming out so much as a survivor of domestic violence; rather, I feel it even more shameful that I have not had success with relationships and that is the real indication of failure about me. On the other hand, this is the true insidious nature of domestic violence. The fact that the victim feels bad about ever having been in that situation says a lot about violence. The fact that I am a lesbian does not mean that I deserve violence in my relationships.

As a community, I am standing before you today as a lesbian to say that it happened to me. If it had happened to me, believe me, it has happened to friends, family, lovers, you. We deserve healthy and whole relationships and we should not compromise to get them. By the time I started to heal, I had to grow up and find out just who I was. The journey has not been without pain, but I am stronger for it.

Thank you family and friends.

Send us your feedback!

Site development donated by Benchmark Online Productions.
Web space provided by SUBA.