October 8th, 1997 to October 14th, 1997

U.S. Catholic Bishops' letter urges parents to love gay children

by P.J. Engelbrecht

The National Conference of Catholic Bishops has released the text of a pastoral letter to Roman Catholic parents which takes a relatively progressive stance on how to deal with lesbian and gay children. In the Sept. 30 letter, the bishops recognize the tremendous social pressures-even violence-facing lesbigay youth, and they encourage families to accept, not to reject homosexual children.

"God loves every person as a unique individual. Sexual identity helps to define the unique person[s] we are," says the document, which has been reviewed by the bishops' Committee on Doctrine and approved by the Council's Administrative Board. "God does not love someone any less simply because he or she is homosexual."

The missive tells parents not to reject gay children, but "to continue demonstrating love for [a] child" even when the child is struggling to accept his or her homosexuality. It suggests that parents generate an open family atmosphere in which children are able to discuss their sexuality. "This child, who has always been God's gift to you, may now be the cause of another gift: your family becoming more honest, respectful and supportive," say the bishops.

The bishops note that a homosexual orientation "generally ... is experienced as a given, not as something freely chosen. By itself, therefore, a homosexual orientation cannot be considered sinful, for morality presumes the freedom to choose." However, the bishops also say that parents should urge gay children to lead a chaste life.

The letter does not break any new ground in either theology or doctrine, even though the bishops do moderate their stance on how to 'handle' gay issues. The San Francisco Examiner quoted Joliet, Illinois, Bishop Joseph Imesch as saying that the letter was motivated "Primarily to get [parents] to accept the fact that their son or daughter is gay or lesbian, and that their child was not damned forever."

As recently as the 1980s, some U.S. Roman Catholic leaders had been disciplined by the Vatican: a Seattle bishop, for allowing gay Catholics to meet within a cathedral; and a Washington, D.C., theologian for suggesting that homosexual acts are sometimes morally acceptable. A Conference committee had begun studying the issue of family conflict and homosexuality in 1992.

Gay and lesbian reactions to the bishops' letter were affirmative. "This pastoral letter is a positive step, and we commend the bishops for their improved sensitivity to the issues which confront parents and their lesbian and gay children, [though] all is not perfect," said Charles Cox, executive director of Dignity/USA, the nation's largest organization for lesbigaytrans Catholics. The Roman Catholic Church does not officially recognize Dignity.

Human Rights Campaign leader Elizabeth Birch called the letter "another milestone on America's journey toward common ground where faith, family and fairness go together ... a much-needed reminder ... that people of faith can disagree without being disagreeable-and that families have a moral obligation to treat all people, including their gay loved ones, with fairness, respect and dignity."

Kerry Lobel, executive director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, said: "I welcome the open acknowledgement by the bishops that a person's sexual orientation should not be the basis of discrimination or injustice. ... I reject their notion, however, that our behavior is immoral. We call on the Church to end its mixed message and recognize and affirm the loving relationships we have which cannot be separated from sexual expression."

Dignity's national president, Robert Miailovich, added that "The document ... offers some very practical advice to both parents and pastors. Our hope is that all bishops, pastors and parents will take it to heart and that we will see improved ministries to our community. ... [O]ur task will be to hold [the bishops] to their words."

The pastoral letter does encourage priests to welcome gays into parishes, to establish and promote support groups for gays' parents and to use the power of the pulpit to make known their pastoral willingness to discuss lesbigay issues. Further, the bishops believe that lesbians and gays who embrace chastity should be given church leadership opportunities.

Martin Grochala, president of Dignity/Chicago, considers these recommendations "healthy advice for priests." Yet Grochala cautions that "there are people who will be angry with this letter"-both lesbians and gays who hold more liberal views, as well as straight Catholics who are less liberal than the U.S. bishops.

Despite its tolerant tone and message of acceptance, "Always Our Children: A Pastoral Message to the Parents of Homosexual Children and Suggestions for Pastoral Ministries," does not reflect any change in Church doctrine on homosexuality, according to Rev. Michael Place, the theological consultant to Chicago's Archbishop Francis George.

"There never was a time when the Church was telling parents not to love their children," Place told Outlines Friday, "[though] I think the Church ... has become much more attentive ... to ministry to persons who are gay ... [and to] expressing awareness. ... Parents who've been experiencing tension will find this [letter] a great source of comfort." Church-approved familial acceptance may also comfort gay youth.

Place describes the bishops' letter as "a pastoral response, rather than a teaching document ... [and] an enhancement of our pastoral commitment to people who are gay and lesbian." He said he had no knowledge of whether the Vatican had been apprised beforehand of the substance of the U.S. bishops' letter.

The Church has not altered its position that, although one's homosexual orientation may itself be morally neutral, to act upon one's homosexual inclination is still considered sinful. Here, the Church and Dignity part ways. As Place said, "the fundamental disagreement between Dignity and the Archdiocese ... is over genital activity."

Grochala pointed out that the Church's position concerning chastity can be applied to both unmarried heterosexuals as well as to gays. Yet because gays cannot marry, for gay Catholics, the demand for chastity means "dis-integrating your sexuality from the rest of your life," said Grochala.

Besides disagreements over chastity, the bishops' letter also renews another point of religious and social dispute by encouraging parents to challenge unspecified "objectionable" aspects of their gay children's lives and by implicitly linking such objections to 'cure-directed' psychotherapy. The letter does acknowledge that parents should continue to love gay children even if the children still attempt to "accept a basic homosexual orientation" after counseling.

The bishops assert that "In many cases, it may be appropriate and necessary that your child receive professional help, including counseling and spiritual direction. It is important, of course, that he or she receive such guidance willingly. Look for a therapist who has an appreciation of religious values and who understands the complex nature of sexuality. ... [One should] concentrate on the person, not on the homosexual orientation itself. This implies respecting a person's freedom to choose or refuse therapy directed toward changing a homosexual orientation. Given the present state of medical and psychological knowledge, there is no guarantee that such therapy will succeed. Thus, there may be no obligation to undertake it, though some may find it helpful," the bishops said.

Major psychological and medical professional associations have denounced attempting to "cure" gays as unethical and ineffective.

The release of the bishops' letter came just days before Dignity's annual celebration of "Solidarity Sunday," Oct. 5, when Dignity members and friends wear rainbow ribbons to show they are "standing with others who are fighting violence and harassment based on sexual orientation or bias," explained Joe Flint, the event chair for Dignity/Chicago. Flint expected 2,300 ribbons to be distributed to Chicagoans in solidarity this year. Dignity/USA hoped that as many as 100,000 people would participate nationwide.

Dignity sponsors a liturgy and social gathering Sundays, 7 p.m. at 3344 N. Broadway; for info, call (773) 296-0780. To read the full text of "Always Our Children" online: <http://www.nccbuscc.org/comm/archives/97-208a.htm>.

In related news, Pope John Paul II, during his trip last week to Brazil, condemned abortion, sex outside marriage and gay marriage, saying the church cannot recognize sexual 'diversity' within marriage, Associated Press reported.

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