quotElines

Aug. 7, 2002

the low down and dirty: clubs, bars, shows

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Street Walkin' With Sukie

One of the many, and I mean MANY, differences between hets and homos is that hets need an excuse to party, and homos ARE THE PARTY. Remember how Hallmark came up with all those fake holidays like Secretary's Day, Grandmother's Day, Crystal Meth Day etc. so they could sell cards in their bad-sales months, well … I believe that hets came up with a floating party idea, and it's called Marriage. Or, to be more precise, the wedding day itself.
As we all know, and the statistics bear me out here, heterosexual marriage doesn't work; in fact, the whole idea has been a disaster. Marriage to straight people is just an excuse to sing "YMCA" without other people thinking they're gay. After the reception the marriage is pretty much over. I've never thought that heterosexuality was natural. In fact, I think it's one of Mother Nature's little pranks. You don't think Mother Nature has a sense of humor? Then explain to me the armadillo!! Don't tell me that wasn't one of Mother Nature's little pranks!!
I truly believe that mischievous Mother Nature created hets for a joke, and at the party we call LIFE she's been holding her purse over her face so nobody sees her laughing her socks off … or whatever it is that Mother Nature wears on her feet. Probably leaves and twigs. Maybe she wears armadillos, who knows? It seems obvious to me that men are supposed to live and socialize together, occasionally shooting sperm into a Petri dish, and women are destined to be with each other.
However, some gay couples feel they need to "pretend to be straight" and join the marriage bandwagon too, and that's OK. I support that completely. Although, why gay people feel the need to get married to sing "YMCA" is a mystery to me.

Group above: Goddess Productions at the Annex, including Yasmina Couture 9.
Bottom row of group above: Sidetrack boyz. Pics by Sukie
Group below: Top right: A little bit of bartenderness at Touche.

Bottom left: Windy City Radio night at Wizard of Oz/Shakespeare Theater.
From the Nevin's Live / Windy City Radio Radio Queer As Punk event. Middle column, top and bottom: Heather's Damage. Top rught: Scott Free. Lower right: Tom Yore, Scott Free and Gregg Shapiro.
There is another Windy City Radio show at Nevin's this Friday, Aug. 9, with a bunch of queer artists, including Sean Wiggins and Ellen Rosner.

Whatever you think, gay marriage is a hot topic right now. The New York Post reports that in September a new reality-based TV series called Gay Weddings will air on Bravo. The eight-part, four-night series, running two episodes per night, will chronicle the odyssey of four gay couples in California...two male and two female...as they make plans for their big day.
Personally, I can't think of anything more tedious to watch than this. Give me Six Feet Under or The Shield any day. Actually, I'd rather suffer Wheel of Fortune than watch two gay men fussing over the design of wedding invitations.
I do agree that we SHOULD be able to get married though.
So there I was thinking about marriage when I got an e-mail from horror writer Pam Keesey about the Web site bridalboyfantasy.com/index.htm
Yes, it's BRIDALboy by Christine. Guys can get themselves photographed as beautiful brides. I'm not making this up. "Discover your inner bride! A discreet and personalized photo-shoot awaits you within our private studio in romantic Anacortes. Our sensitive attention to your needs and our tasteful fashion experience will make your big day the ultimate feminine experience.
"You've been dreaming of this, you're a living fashionplate, give in to your fantasy ... "
You've got two choices: The Virgin, your basic two-hour package: "Your experience begins with the gown fitting, selecting 1-3 gowns to find your best presentation. We follow with the veil fitting and then you will choose your souvenir garter. Now that you're dressed, the fun and festivities begin with a sparkling wine toast to the bride. You will be the focus of a 36 exposure photo-shoot, posing with various flower arrangements and props, including columns, candelabra and friends! $299 single or $429 couple.
Or The Party Girl, your three-hour enhanced package: "Your enhanced feminine fantasy builds upon the basic package. You and your friends will be the focus of a 72 exposure photo-shoot. Add fresh flower bouquet for you to keep. Add a top-tier wedding cake to eat or keep. Add an hors d'oeuvre tray for 4-6 friends! $599 single-$729 couple.
And on the 8th day God created the internet. What would we do without it?
+++
Anybody else watching Trading Spaces? It can't just be me and Honey West … the biggest TS fans.
This is the show where two couples swap houses and decorate a room in each other's dwelling unit, with the help of a designer and a handyperson. Would I let any of my friends redecorate one of my rooms? Hell no!!
For the boys who watch Trading Spaces, two words: Ty Pennington. Adorable, or what? More than adorable.
And for the girls who watch the show, three words: Amy Wynn Pastor. Babe or what?
Watching the show my gaydar is twitching A LOT! I'm not going to sail my ship too close to the rocks of libel, but …
… what do you think? Who's gay on the show and who's not? Send your theories to me at sukiedelacroix@ozhasspoken.com
You can refresh your memory of the cast at tlc.discovery.com/
+++
While we're on the subject of TV shows, if anyone out there is having the "Shall we buy Tivo or not" conversation, I highly recommend it. Tivo is what God created on the 9th day.

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Aug. 7, 2002

	the low down and dirty: clubs, bars, shows
All publications Front Page Nightspots Blacklines En La Vida Out! Resource Guide Current WCT Issue	Street Walkin' With Sukie One of the many, and I mean MANY, differences between hets and homos is that hets need an excuse to party, and homos ARE THE PARTY. Remember how Hallmark came up with all those fake holidays like Secretary's Day, Grandmother's Day, Crystal Meth Day etc. so they could sell cards in their bad-sales months, well … I believe that hets came up with a floating party idea, and it's called Marriage. Or, to be more precise, the wedding day itself. As we all know, and the statistics bear me out here, heterosexual marriage doesn't work; in fact, the whole idea has been a disaster. Marriage to straight people is just an excuse to sing "YMCA" without other people thinking they're gay. After the reception the marriage is pretty much over. I've never thought that heterosexuality was natural. In fact, I think it's one of Mother Nature's little pranks. You don't think Mother Nature has a sense of humor? Then explain to me the armadillo!! Don't tell me that wasn't one of Mother Nature's little pranks!! I truly believe that mischievous Mother Nature created hets for a joke, and at the party we call LIFE she's been holding her purse over her face so nobody sees her laughing her socks off … or whatever it is that Mother Nature wears on her feet. Probably leaves and twigs. Maybe she wears armadillos, who knows? It seems obvious to me that men are supposed to live and socialize together, occasionally shooting sperm into a Petri dish, and women are destined to be with each other. However, some gay couples feel they need to "pretend to be straight" and join the marriage bandwagon too, and that's OK. I support that completely. Although, why gay people feel the need to get married to sing "YMCA" is a mystery to me.	Group above: Goddess Productions at the Annex, including Yasmina Couture 9. Bottom row of group above: Sidetrack boyz. Pics by Sukie Group below: Top right: A little bit of bartenderness at Touche. Bottom left: Windy City Radio night at Wizard of Oz/Shakespeare Theater. From the Nevin's Live / Windy City Radio Radio Queer As Punk event. Middle column, top and bottom: Heather's Damage. Top rught: Scott Free. Lower right: Tom Yore, Scott Free and Gregg Shapiro. There is another Windy City Radio show at Nevin's this Friday, Aug. 9, with a bunch of queer artists, including Sean Wiggins and Ellen Rosner.

	Whatever you think, gay marriage is a hot topic right now. The New York Post reports that in September a new reality-based TV series called Gay Weddings will air on Bravo. The eight-part, four-night series, running two episodes per night, will chronicle the odyssey of four gay couples in California...two male and two female...as they make plans for their big day. Personally, I can't think of anything more tedious to watch than this. Give me Six Feet Under or The Shield any day. Actually, I'd rather suffer Wheel of Fortune than watch two gay men fussing over the design of wedding invitations. I do agree that we SHOULD be able to get married though. So there I was thinking about marriage when I got an e-mail from horror writer Pam Keesey about the Web site bridalboyfantasy.com/index.htm Yes, it's BRIDALboy by Christine. Guys can get themselves photographed as beautiful brides. I'm not making this up. "Discover your inner bride! A discreet and personalized photo-shoot awaits you within our private studio in romantic Anacortes. Our sensitive attention to your needs and our tasteful fashion experience will make your big day the ultimate feminine experience. "You've been dreaming of this, you're a living fashionplate, give in to your fantasy ... " You've got two choices: The Virgin, your basic two-hour package: "Your experience begins with the gown fitting, selecting 1-3 gowns to find your best presentation. We follow with the veil fitting and then you will choose your souvenir garter. Now that you're dressed, the fun and festivities begin with a sparkling wine toast to the bride. You will be the focus of a 36 exposure photo-shoot, posing with various flower arrangements and props, including columns, candelabra and friends! $299 single or $429 couple. Or The Party Girl, your three-hour enhanced package: "Your enhanced feminine fantasy builds upon the basic package. You and your friends will be the focus of a 72 exposure photo-shoot. Add fresh flower bouquet for you to keep. Add a top-tier wedding cake to eat or keep. Add an hors d'oeuvre tray for 4-6 friends! $599 single-$729 couple. And on the 8th day God created the internet. What would we do without it? +++ Anybody else watching Trading Spaces? It can't just be me and Honey West … the biggest TS fans. This is the show where two couples swap houses and decorate a room in each other's dwelling unit, with the help of a designer and a handyperson. Would I let any of my friends redecorate one of my rooms? Hell no!! For the boys who watch Trading Spaces, two words: Ty Pennington. Adorable, or what? More than adorable. And for the girls who watch the show, three words: Amy Wynn Pastor. Babe or what? Watching the show my gaydar is twitching A LOT! I'm not going to sail my ship too close to the rocks of libel, but … … what do you think? Who's gay on the show and who's not? Send your theories to me at sukiedelacroix@ozhasspoken.com You can refresh your memory of the cast at tlc.discovery.com/ +++ While we're on the subject of TV shows, if anyone out there is having the "Shall we buy Tivo or not" conversation, I highly recommend it. Tivo is what God created on the 9th day.